


you got some sh*t to say (i’m here to listen)

by ydididodis



Series: sh*t au [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: College AU, Deaf Character, F/F, Pan Character, University AU, and they watch a lot of movies and tv, bi characters, currently rewriting and re-editing, revolves a lot about Gina’s graduating project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2019-11-05 09:38:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 36,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17916365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ydididodis/pseuds/ydididodis
Summary: Gina and Jake are Juniors at NYU. The live together and meet new people and everything is a mess. But their lives have always been messy. Soon, they meet Amy who introduces them to a whole new world!





	1. stumbling (leads to falling - for her)

**Author's Note:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

“Come on, Jake! Wake up, you’re gonna be late. Again.” Gina calls into his room before bursting into it and shaking him. “You’ve been late three times already and it’s only Tuesday.”

Jake just groans and turns away from her, moving his hand in Gina’s general direction like he’s swatting away an annoying fly. “Don’t care. Studying suckz - with a z. Let me sleep.”

She rips the sheets away from his body. “No. I am not accepting that, J. We share our first class together in like a hundred years. Aren’t you at least a bit excited about that?” He shivers, goosebumps already forming on his skin. 

That’s not how he imagined his first week of his grad degree to start. He was a hard worker for four years already, doesn’t he deserve his first week to be a week off? Doesn’t he deserve a break? Doesn’t he deserve to sleep in instead of having to get up right now he asks himself while getting up, a frown forming on his face. 

Gina grins. She wins every argument she starts or gets dragged into. She’s good like that. She always gets what she wants. Even if it’s just Jake going to class. 

While Jake showers she prepares some breakfast they can eat on their way to campus. 

And a lot of coffee. 

It’s 8:30 am by the time Jake leaves the bathroom and he joins her in their shared small living room space. 

If they had a choice they would’ve never taken any morning classes ever again but here they are. With no choice, no money and no sleep on their second day of school. 

Gina is lost in thought about how they made it this far in the first place. They both haven’t been the most hard working in school but they somehow still made it work. They both graduated high school with better scores than anticipated and both got accepted into NYU and they’re on their second day of their first grad year. They both got jobs over the summer and moved into a (very) small apartment about 10 minutes from either campus, in the core of New York City and have been living together for a few years now.

Gina applied for the NYU filmmaking program because as much as she knows how amazing she is in front of an audience or a camera, the thrill of making it her own - writing it out and realizing it through film, _creating it_ \- gets her even more excited. She’ll be able to create the stories nobody has written yet, the stories she wished were out there when she needed them and this is what gave her the energy to get her through four years of college. Of being the minion to the grad students. What gets her through grad school though is the knowledge and skills to let her visions translate into film. And a well paid scholarship she earned with her bachelor’s thesis. 

Jake started his masters in criminology. After watching _Die Hard_ (1 through 4) for a million times all he ever wanted to be was a detective. But he wanted more than just be detective. He thought that he’d try out college and see how far he could go, knowing that the police academy could always pose as his backup plan. (He’s glad he didn’t need it so far.)

When Gina realizes that Jake is finally ready she hands him his food and they’re out the door. Gina can’t wait for their shared class together. Because they’re studying so fundamentally different things it’s nearly impossible to achieve that. 

They arrive at 8:55 am and there are only two places available. One next to a nervous looking, black-haired, well-dressed girl, maybe 19, and one vacant spot at the end of the table. 

“Dibs on the one on the end”, Gina declares while taking off. Jake sighs and makes his way over to the spot between the embodiment of a nervous system and the human form of the 100 emoji. And he hits it off surprisingly well with the girl, with Gina checking twitter for the duration of the whole class. 

Even before the professor started speaking she knew she hated this class. And she knew that this was her fault. She just heard that it was an easy one where you didn’t have to put in the work and that’s what’s driven her to sign her and Jake up for it. 

What she hates, even more though, is that Jake seems to be getting along with the girl he has to sit next to. Though said girl takes notes and writes extremely fast, she seems to listen to what Jake has to say as well as smiling at his stupid jokes. 

She hates this class with all her heart.

When the torture is finally over she’s the first out the door. She didn’t even bother unpacking her stuff, already planning on snagging the notes from Jake’s new friend.

She waits outside for him and rolls her eyes when she sees that he’s accompanied by the girl.

“Gines, this is Amy! She’s such a nerd”, he’s smiling. “but she’s pretty okay I guess. Amy, this is Gina.”

“Arnie?”, Gina repeats with a hint of disinterested. She couldn’t care less about Jake’s new friend, she decides. 

“Amy”, she retorts. “I’m an Art History major. Undergrad. Sophomore year.” She holds out her hand to shake it with Gina’s but the latter is on her phone already, scrolling through Twitter, visibly done with the conversation.

Jake rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, she’s already warming up to you. Do you wanna join us for coffee or do you have class?”, he asks while smiling nervously.

“Jake, I told you like five minutes ago I don’t have a class for another hour. And you already asked me if I wanted to get coffee with you”, now it’s her turn to roll her eyes.

So it’s what they do. They set off to get coffee and to get to know each other better.

Gina shivers when Jake mentions that they’ll meet Charles there.

And Gina kind of dreads seeing him because they slept together **once** and it’s been weird between them ever since. He’s casually mentioning that they’re siblings and that they slept together as well to basically every person he meets and it freaks _everyone_ out.

Sometimes it still freaks her out, too.

In her defense though, their parents met way after they had sex together. It’s not like they’re biological siblings.

Still, she’d be happier if he didn’t have to pepper in the fact every now and then.

Jake and Gina have known him since they’ve been 16. He transferred to their school and Jake became friends with him instantly. And Charles worships him to this day.

He is already occupying a booth when the trio enters and he’s frantically waving at them like they would miss him otherwise.

They settle into their seats before Jake and Amy get up again to get them some drinks. He has Gina’s order memorized.

“Okay, listen up, dude. Please don’t tell the new kid that we slept together and that we’re siblings and stop being weird and maybe just don’t say anything? - Okay no, that was rude. Just don’t mention the facts okay?” Charles smiles and nods and the other two return. They’re laughing and talking and don’t seem to remember that there are other people sitting at the table as well. Maybe she does care what Amy thinks of her after all. 

“Haha yeah. I totally don’t get that, being a single child and all but it sounds fun to have so many brothers!”

Gina returns her attention to her phone. 23 missed messages.

The doorbell chimes and in walks a young woman. It tears Gina’s eyes from the screen. the woman’s hair is dark and wild and unruly and so seem to be her eyes. She’s wearing a leather jacket and combat boots and, yeah, she totally is Gina’s type.

She admires the masterpiece walking to the counter and wonders why her art class isn’t about her. Why it’s about Monet and Van Gogh and not about the beauty of this woman carrying herself so effortlessly to the counter. 

Charles nudges Gina’s shoulder and pulls her out of her trance. “You should totally talk to her” and Gina just shakes her head like he just suggested she should strip down, make monkey noises or recite a poem. Never in a million years would she dare interrupt something so ethereal when she might as well admire it from afar. 

Charles nods before getting up himself and going over to the girl that got herself a drink and now sits at a table by the windows and reads. He sits opposite her and starts talking and gets ignored completely. Gina snorts and Amy has to laugh. 

Loudly. 

Still, the other woman doesn’t look up.

Between laughter, Amy tries to get words out. “This- this is my roommate. Oh my god. I can’t. Charl- Charles doesn’t have a chance approaching her like that. This is poetic cinema.” And Gina has to admit it is pretty funny to see Charles fail like this. 

Pouting, Charles returns. “She didn’t even look at me, ignoring me completely. She didn’t seem to hear what I said”, Amy starts laughing again, murmuring something to herself that Gina vaguely makes out to be “how is she supposed to be”.

“She’s just like that. Not a people person. We should let her be. Trust me.”

They get back into their conversation while Gina returns her attention to her phone. She’s totally not admiring the girl and how the light seems to surround her like she’s a holy being and for a second she thinks she understands how Charles feels about Jake. How something like admiration can spiral into obsession so fast. 

Before Amy has to leave for her next class she stops by her roommate’s table and blocks the view of the mysterious woman. She seems to looks up though and they seem to have a quiet, yet animated, discussion before Amy waves and takes off. 

The doorbell chimes. 

Roommate doesn’t look up. 

Instead, the woman gets back to reading immediately and Gina checks her phone again, only to realize she’s running late for her next class if she doesn’t leave now. She gets up quickly and waves her friends goodbye and leaves in a hurry. 

The doorbell chimes. 

Roommate still doesn’t look up.


	2. is this too soon to call it love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Gina hates to admit it but she’s a hardworking student. She’d never tell anyone that she actually enjoys going to university and learning about the art of filmmaking but secretly she does. So every minute not spent sleeping is usually spent in the campus library, working on her assignments. Unless Jake decides to cook dinner. It’s the only reason she’s home before 8 pm. 

It’s been a little over a week since Gina had seen Amy’s roommate for the first time and whenever her thoughts drift, they land on leather jackets and dark curly hair. 

As they sit on the sofa in the living room, a tv show they’ve seen a million times running in the background while the best friends are eating and talking, Jake brings her up again. 

“So, Amy’s roommate, huh?”

Gina groans, pretending to get up. Jake grabs her wrist. 

“Oh c’mon, I’ve seen how you’ve been looking at her, Gines! She’s hot as fuck and Amy told me that her roommate is actually pretty nice!”

She barely managed to get Roommate’s face out of her head. Every time she started writing her mind was invaded by black locks and long slender fingers and halo-like glow but Jake doesn’t have yo know _that_ as well. Instead, she decides to steer the conversation into the opposite direction. 

“So, Amy, huh?”, Gina mocks Jake’s previous question and he, mouth full of spaghetti with some hanging from the corners of his mouth, blushes.

_Bingpot!_

He chews and swallows, sauce all around is mouth before starting to ramble: “She’s so nerdy and knows so much about art but she’s also so cute! She knows a lot about police work as well because her dad is or was a detective here in New York. And she’s so beautiful, Gina. How can someone be so smart and so beautiful? -“, she returns her attention to her food, her mind definitely not lingering on Amy’s roommate again. 

How _can_ someone be so beautiful indeed.

“- anyway she’s totally out of my league and she has seven brothers so that’s scary. She mentioned that some of them are detectives I think?And as I said her dad works for the police as well, so that’s also intimidating”, after a short break, he seems to contemplating what he just told Gina, he adds, “I’m gonna ask her on a date anyway. What do you think?”

She nods absentmindedly. “Ask her on a date. Worst case, she says no and you’ll decide to stay friends. And then you’ll talk like once a week and then once a month and then you stop talking entirely because one of you forgot to reply or whatever and it’ll be way too awkward to start the conversation up again after after that prolonged time of silence.” (She hopes Amy won’t say no and it really isn’t because she wants to get to know her roommate and Amy is the easiest access. How dare you insinuate that Gina might admit that Amy is kind of an okay person, too, actually. Because she’s boring and never will she be friends with someone as boring as Amy.)

Jake hesitates. “We won’t ever talk again if she says no?”

Gina sighs. He takes everything so at face value sometimes. “Nah dude. I was exaggerating. Maybe wait another week or two before asking. Forge a connection. Don’t jump straight into it. Your whole “eyes closed - head first - nothing to lose” attitude will seriously cost you if you ask her out so soon. ‘Kay?” 

He nods in agreement. “You’re right. Don’t want a repeat of the whole Sophia disaster.” 

And they finally return to eating their dinner in silence.

They turn up the volume of the TV and both of them pretend to watch whatever is on, but their minds are preoccupied with dark hair that matches personality more than they know yet.

* * *

The next morning, Gina leaves early. It’s her day off and she wants to get her assignments done as soon as possible. She has the whole year to create a short film and she’s going to collect ideas in the park before heading off to the library and start on her other homework.

She decides to go on a run into the tiny park about a 15-minute walk from their building. Gina thinks she might take pictures as an inspiration for locations or take some notes about possible storylines. She really wants this short film to be her best work yet. Needs it to be her best work yet, so she won’t get dropped from her prestigious scholarship. 

If you asked Gina she might’ve told you that she would have expected any possible person in the park but the one she didn’t is sitting across from her, leaning against a tree and seemingly enjoying the shadow it provides. Again, Roommate is reading. Immersed in a paper world constructed by streets of black ink, in between two paper pages inhabited by paper people going about their paper business. 

Gina asks herself what music the mystery person would listen to in her free time. What style of music she prefers and if she can sing or play an instrument. She imagines slender fingers dancing over ivory keys. 

Gina turns and realizes that there really is not one other person in the park, which annoys her. 

It’s 11 am, there might as well be someone worth writing about here. 

And then it hits her:

She might write a screenplay about the young woman under the tree and how, no matter where you go, she always seems to seclude herself and read, instead of interacting. Gina is aware she’s making big assumptions about the stranger’s life right now but Amy’s roommate would only be the inspiration. Everything else will be her imagination.

Gina is intrigued by the mysteriousness surrounding her. She’s only seen her twice now, yet didn’t have a chance (or the courage) to talk to her. It’s so unlike Gina, that someone can shake up her world so much and it’s really starting to throw her off. 

Roommate looks up for a few seconds and their eyes meet. For a second the world seems to stop and time freezes and Gina realizes she’s been staring. Again. So, face flushed with embarrassment, she turns around and leaves.

Instead of going to the library as planned she returns home. Jake must be awake by now, she thinks, because otherwise she’ll wake him up. 

Gina puts the key into the look and opens their front door. She’s greeted by the TV running and the smell of pancakes smacking her in the face. There’s laughter coming from the kitchen.

As she rounds the corner she discovers Jake and Amy laughing and the whole kitchen covered in flour. The ceiling and floor and every inch of surface in between. Jake and Amy are covered in the white substance as well, standing in front of the counter, sharing cakes from the stack.

Gina has been gone like what - 30 minutes maybe? - and he already managed to invite a friend over and mess up the whole kitchen.

“You’re gonna clean that up, Jacob”, she declares and snags some pancakes before turning around, planning on hiding in her room the whole day.

Not five minutes later, Jake is standing in her doorway. “What’s wrong with you, G? You should be happy! It’s our day off!” She, in return, just shakes her head. “I don’t wanna talk about it. - No, you know what. Actually, I do. Close the door.”

He does as he’s told and steps in to close the door behind him.

“I- I’ve seen Roommate in the park and oh my god she looked so good. And she caught me staring and is this what love is, Jake? I can’t be in love. I don’t even know her. I think I’m gonna write my screenplay based on her and -“

“Whoa wait what? You’re basing your screenplay on her? You’re in too deep already, huh?”, he chuckles. “Come on. We’re watching Die Hard because Amy hasn’t seen it yet and you can join us. Don’t mope around in your room all day.”

He stretches out a hand and as soon as Gina puts hers into his, he pulls her up. They walk into the living room together.

Amy looks kind of disappointed but recovers fast. And before Gina has a chance to stop him, Jake tells Amy that she seems to have a crush on her roommate. 

They both start laughing.

“A crush on Rosa? Aren’t you afraid of her _super badass exterior_?”

Gina doesn’t wanna talk about it but yet the words come spilling out. “She is kind of intimidating but that’s the intriguing part. The leather jacket, the boots, the I-don’t-give-a-single-eff attitude. I don’t even know if she’d like me or not but God, I’d kill to be with her.”

Amy still smiles but she doesn’t comment on it. It’s like there’s more to the story that Amy deliberately doesn’t tell. They continue watching Die Hard before Amy goes into the bathroom to fix up her appearance as much as possible and gets ready to leave for classes.

“You both should come over on Saturday, we can have some downtime and watch some more movies. But this time I decide”, she focuses Jake and then turns her gaze to Gina “don’t worry, I won’t tell her about what you told us.”

She hugs Jake before smiling once again at Gina and then leaves.

Both Jake and Gina clean up the kitchen and spend the rest of their day in silence. Both of them don’t really want to talk about their respective crushes anymore today.

Around 3 pm they leave into their rooms, their locks simultaneously falling into place.


	3. saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Saturday comes faster than Gina anticipated. She was so preoccupied with classes and homework and running through her first ideas for a script with her group that the plans for Saturday were constantly pushed to the back of her mind. They had to go over five different ideas from five different people and Gina hoped she’d get inspired. 

Still, it seems like she doesn’t have ANY ideas. Everything in her mind revolves around this mystery of a person Amy called Rosa.

Rosa, Rosa, Rosa.

If she didn’t know better Gina would guess that she’s going crazy. Mad. Insane. 

Jake snaps his fingers in front of her face. “G, are you ready to go? What is up with you?”, enunciating every word “ah, there you are! Back in the land of the living. Are you ready?”

 _No._ That’s what she wants to say. Because she definitely isn’t ready. What if Rosa is there, too? And they talk? And she thinks Gina is too weird to hang out with someone as cool as her? And then _she_ will be the one losing a friend before even making one in the first place. 

She nods. “Yeah, just gotta pack some stuff. I wanted to run the script ideas by you all if we have a chance. I mean I know it’s gonna perfect and all but - and I regret saying this - I trust all of your opinions.”

Jake grins as Gina leaves the table without making eye contact. She packs her things and makes her way to the front door, which Jake is holding open already. Gina puts her shoes on and then they walk down the stairs to meet Charles, who had been waiting with excitement for quite some time now.

Jake is texting Amy to let her know that they’re on their way now and he can’t wait to see her.

Instead of taking the subway they opt for walking. It’s slowly getting colder outside but the sun is shining brightly and Gina argues they won’t get that much Vitamin D for a long time “when fall starts for realz - realz with a z.”

It takes them about 30 minutes until they stand in front of an old but beautiful building. This time Jake calls Amy to let her know they’ve arrived and she appears from around the building (she just finished smoking a cigarette but please don’t tell anyone, not even Rosa knows about Amy’s shame smoking) and opens the front door for them and lets them into the building. They walk down the corridor and she opens her door for them as well.

“Welcome. That’s where I live. Obviously.”

She starts walking and pointing to different rooms “that’s the bathroom and that’s Rosa’s room. Opposite that is my room, that’s the living room and that’s the kitchen.” She ends her introduction while diverting into the living room. “Just sit down wherever. There are snacks here and drinks in the kitchen”, she smiles.

They start talking about their first weeks back in college and grad school and how they find their classes. Gina chimes in that she hates their early art class and starts arguing with Amy about how boring and dull it is until Jake suggests they should watch a movie instead. 

Amy turns on some random Disney movie. It’s subtitled but Gina doesn’t pay it much mind because it helps her understand the movie better sometimes. And it’s not her business questioning why Amy has them turned on as well. 

Charles on the other hand isn’t seeing it like that. Or maybe he’s just too oblivious to not question it in the first place. 

He asks why she has the subtitles turned on and Amy stutters, trying to find an excuse until Gina interjects. “Shut up, Charles. It’s none of your business, is it?”, Gina says while rolling her eyes “I’m getting something to drink.”

When she’s in the kitchen she hears a door in the apartment shut loudly, carelessly even but she directs her attention back to the fridge.

When she finally decides on getting something to drink and shuts the door, she sees Room- Rosa standing in the kitchen as well. They’re looking into each other’s eyes again. Rosa smiles and slightly waves at her and Gina just stands there dumbfounded. Rosa shrugs and moves past her to open the fridge as well and get herself some juice. The woman proceeds to turn around and leaves the room without any word spoken.

And without a second glance into Gina’s direction. 

“Hey, Rosa? I just - love your boots?” The auburn haired woman decides to speak up, but she gets no reaction whatsoever.

So Gina follows Rosa, who passes through the living room and outside into the courtyard garden, but someone grabs her by the wrist, and the door that leads from the living room to the outside, shuts with much noise and force right in front her face.

“Just, she doesn’t want to talk. Or she would have taken the time. Trust me.” Amy exclaims. Her eyes beg to not have to explain this right now because Rosa is Rosa but Gina doesn’t care.

“I - I talked to her and I said something so immensely stupid and she ignored me. Which is... nice I guess? But also anything would’ve been better than getting ignored”, Gina starts rambling, her brain catching up with her body. “I talked to her and she ignored me. Oh my god, I told her I liked her boots! Can I die please?”

Amy can’t help but burst out laughing. And she can’t seem to stop. “Oh my God! This will always be my favorite part. I can’t believe Jake didn’t tell you -“

“- I mean I promised I wouldn’t -“

“and you didn’t figure it out yet.”

“ - I mean she never actually had enough time or interaction to put the pieces together really”, Jake interjects again. 

Amy turns to walk into the kitchen and grabs a glass, Gina following her. “Why are you laughing so hard? That’s plain rude to ignore people when they talk to you and - no! Stop laughing, Amy. Stop”, she’s so confused as to what’s going on. Gina really doesn’t know what’s so funny about her (very embarrassing) situation. 

The younger woman takes a deep breath before revealing the one crucial part of the story that Gina apparently missed: “She’s Deaf, Gina. Rosa’s Deaf!”, before starting to laugh again. “That’s why she walked away from you without turning back around when you talked. She just didn’t hear. And if you would’ve followed her then you would’ve really scared her when she found you suddenly. Also, she would’ve smacked that door in your face. Believe me, I’m speaking from experience.”

And if Rosa’s tiny wave didn’t catch her off guard then this definitely did.

_Deaf, Deaf, Deaf._

Rosa’s Deaf.

“At any rate, I’ll let you catch up with your worldview while I’ll bring her a glass because she tends to drink out of the container and I can’t stand that.” She turns on her heels and exits the kitchen.

Gina does, too, a few seconds later. Through the window, she’s able to observe the two roommates and sees Amy wildly gesturing and laughing.

And then she hears Rosa laugh as well. Loud and unapologetic. Exactly like she imagined.

Amy returns some time later with Rosa in tow.

“Guys, this is Rosa, my roommate”, she talks while simultaneously gesturing something Gina doesn’t understand. And she wants to understand so badly.

She then points to Charles and does a motion Gina assumes is Amy spelling his name, same with Jake and finally Gina. Only that she adds something more to her name. Rosa laughs again and runs her right hand through her hair and opts for a wave again, blushing slightly. She then turns to Amy and signs something short but fast.

The younger of the women nods and after holding eye contact with Gina for a few seconds, Rosa leaves back out in the garden. She picks up some paper she left discarded on a bench and continues drawing.

“She says it’s nice to meet you but she’d rather just enjoy some alone time”, Amy catches the group up on the conversation that just happened. 

They nod and return their attention to the TV, while Gina can’t stop looking at Rosa out in the inner courtyard. After almost an hour she finally gathers up all of her courage and gets up and decides to join Rosa outside.

Alone time be damned, she needs to get to know Rosa now.


	4. meeting and flirting (or is she just being nice)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Gina closes the glass door to the outside carefully, listening for the soft click as it falls into its lock. Glancing back, she sees Amy’s worried look but she doesn’t worry too much herself because what’s Rosa gonna do anyway? Rip her head off? Highly unlikely. Nobody can withstand Gina’s charm. And Rosa didn’t look as scary as she was made out to be in the first place. 

She takes a deep breath and then heads in Rosa’s direction, highly aware of her surroundings. The trees dancing in the wind and every step she takes and her heartbeat. She listens for the leaves rustling in the wind, how they blaspheme her, ridicule her, talk about her in their own secret language.

Suddenly, she is standing in front of Rosa, hesitatingly reaching out her hand but pulling it back immediately. Maybe this was a bad idea. Gina averts her gaze to Rosa’s drawing, following the pencil’s movement with undivided attention. 

And then the pencil stops and dark brown eyes, rimmed with eyeliner, start looking at Gina questioningly. Rosa cocks her head slightly to the side as if she’s asking _What do you want?_

Thing is, Gina didn’t think that far. Up until a few seconds ago she was ready to turn back around and scurry back inside. The thought of communicating with Rosa didn’t even cross her mind. _Fuck._ She never thought about _how_ they were gonna communicate, logistics and everything involved. 

So Gina does the first thing she can think of and starts speaking slowly, enunciating every word but Rosa just shakes her head, puts the sketching pad aside and takes a new sheet of paper. With her pencil she points at her own ear and shakes her head.

 **can’t hear you** it reads. **im deaf - what do you want**

****

Gina opens the notes app of her phone, that she’d been holding all that time. _Honestly idk, just wanted to chill w/ you bc you seem interesting and cute_

**Interesting because I’m Deaf? Because that’s a no-no**

_nah girl, thought u r hot the second I saw u the first time but too chicken to talk bc have u seen u - and also u seemed to stare at me as if inviting me to join you outside so_

Rosa has to laugh out loud and Gina is sure she’s never heard something so cute and beautiful. From the distance, it sounded so nice, but to hear it right in front of her is like an angelic choir and the clouds opening up and a shining light directly onto _this_ angel. 

Rosa balls her right hand into a first and stretches her pinky finger upward only to hit herself on the forehead. She smiles though and slightly shakes her head. 

**means idiot, you dumb-dumb. you’re cute too**

OMG, Gina thinks, is she flirting with me? She blushes and smiles with a scrunched up face and her tongue between her teeth.

 _ok, im dead - I’ll let u get back to ur thang but here’s my number, u should txt me gurl_ she shows Rosa her phone while scribbling said number down on the paper, then takes her phone back and shows her the peace sign. Then she returns back inside. 

All three people have been observing her. It’s like they’re the last two animals of a species finally brought together in the same zoo and this is their friends’ only chance of seeing them interact ever. 

When she steps into the living room they’re watching her like deer in headlights, Amy especially and Gina doesn’t know why. She survived the _scary_ Rosa after all. 

“She never reacts this calm to strangers”, is all Amy mumbles, confused. 

Gina looks at the younger woman “Sign Language, right? You need to teach me.” It clearly is a demand and nobody can decline Gina Linetti any demands. At least she thought so. 

“I don’t, actually. But there are language classes that start this week that you can take. There are still some open spots available and they’re always happy to have them filled.”

She supposes she should try as she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. 

**unknown number: w/o you outside the view isn’t quite the same, you should come back**

**unknown number: you were right i was trying to get you to join me earlier**

**unknown number: it’s Rosa btw**

Gina smiles and gets up, joining Rosa again. As soon as she’s by Rosa’s side again they look into each other’s eyes, a mutual understanding neither of them knows what for yet, and then Gina is silently sitting down next to her on the bench, legs pulled up under her as she’s scrolling through various apps on her phone. 

Whenever she thinks of something funny or sees a tweet she feels is too relatable, she texts it to the person sitting right beside her, only to hear the laugh again. 

And again. And again. And again. 

(Gina thinks Rosa doesn’t see that she’s researching ASL and communication and Deafness, but she does and she tries to think back to who **ever** did that upon learning she’s Deaf. She can’t remember. Rosa’s previous boyfriends were never that considerate.)

They stay outside on the bench until it gets colder and the sun is setting and Jake texts her a million times that he wants to leave to their own apartment. Why he didn’t leave without her is beyond her understanding, she doesn’t question it either. He sends her a selfie of him pouting and he looks like a tired young boy, she thinks. 

Gina gets up first, catching Rosa’s attention and motioning for them to make their way inside. 

She's picking up her stuff, having forgotten to run through her script ideas with the trio, and before she realizes she’s standing at the front door. 

**G: will we c each other again?**

**G: like soonish? we’re a power couple tbh**

She looks at Rosa who smiles slightly and nods, giving her a thumbs up behind Amy’s back. 

**G: what did Arnie tell u btw when she introduced me, I know she said some stuff**

**Ro🖤: only that you have the biggest crush on me**

It’s true, Gina wants to reply, but she deletes the typed out words before she can send them. 

She glares at Amy instead.

* * *

So naturally, Gina applies for the ASL course because desperate times call for desperate measures and she’d even go so far to admit that she’s a queer disaster. Learning a language for a crush, who did she become? What did Rosa turn her into?

She’s been texting non-stop with the girl since Saturday and they’re meeting this evening for something they haven’t decided on yet. 

Gina is excited. She hasn’t felt this giddy in a long time, not since she broke up with her first girlfriend at the end of high school, and she isn’t quite sure what to make of it. 

She knows she’s fabulous and one of a kind and everyone should consider themselves lucky to date her but she has never been this invested in a possible love interest. 

It kind of scares her. 

The ASL classes turn out to be alright, (actually super helpful) and Gina has read up on the language a lot and taught herself some things she deemed essential. 

Granted, in the grand scheme of language learning she doesn’t know much yet other than spelling and counting and introducing herself, but she knows she’ll get there. She has to get there. 

It really scares her that she’s so set on figuring this out. Why take the easy road when you can take the hard one?

On the other hand, she has a bunch of new script ideas. 

Her first ones revolved around a young Jewish girl, 14 maybe 15, that discovers she is falling in love with a classmate. A female classmate. There were a bunch of different outlines that had that the subject in common but her favorite one so far had been this one:

\- how that girl felt disgusted by herself and felt like it was wrong to love another girl

\- and how the protagonist might turn to drugs

\- her parents discovering her dealing some drugs as she becomes involved with the wrong crowd and shipping her off to boarding school 

\- where she meets another girl that’s so self-confident and sure about who she is and helps her figure it all out. 

She didn’t have more for that storyline yet. 

New ideas involve: 

\- a short film without sound

\- a deaf main character portrayed by a deaf person (preferably Rosa)

\- S U B T I T L E S

\- a queer love story 

She likes her new ideas better, even if they’re not as detailed yet. 

(She wants to show Rosa her ideas but they’re not ready yet. The stories, Gina and their relationship, she’s not sure if they’re good ideas after all.)

After staring down her notes for what felt like hours she puts them aside and gets working on her other coursework. She has to hand in a paper by the end of Friday and she hasn’t even started that yet. 

And then there are loud knocks on her door.

At first, Gina doesn't realize that the knocking comes from her front door and not from the movie scene she's been analyzing for however long (what is time anyway). 

In the process of the constant watch and rewind and repeat and rewind and repeat the sound felt foreign and it's when it gets louder and more intense and she figures that this person is going to knock down her door that she gets up to open it. 

And then she's met with arms crossed over one another, clad in their signature leather jacket and eyes that look at her expectantly. 

_Shit_ , Gina thinks. She knew she'd forgotten something. 

Or better yet, someone.


	5. i’ve got a secret for the mad (it’s that I  am going mad)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Black locks fall onto a right shoulder and eyes are trying to figure out what situation her knuckles colliding with wood might have interrupted. 

Rosa focuses on her phone and seconds later Gina’s loudly announces the arrival of a notification. 

Rosa’s mouth curves into a subtle smile. And Gina’s about to explain herself verbally when another message is added to the chat. 

**Ro🖤: don’t bother talking I’m shit at lipreading**

Gina chuckles. 

**G: got lost in homework, sry**

Gina turns around and Rosa steps into her apartment. She settles herself in the spot Gina previously inhibited and reads over some notes splayed on the table. 

Gina hurries to change her clothes. She can’t believe she looks this messy and unprepared and unflattering and her crush saw her like this. She cringes while rifling through her closet. 

What to wear, what to wear, what to wear?

She eventually settles on some high waisted skinny jeans and a deep red shirt, putting flannel on over it and hastily combs through her messy hair. She checks herself out in the mirror one last time and leaves back into the living room. 

What she does not expect is Rosa writing. 

Why is she writing? 

She softly knocks on the wood of the table right beside the Latina that’s engrossed in the notes and Rosa looks up. She looks absent and emotionless and before Gina has time to ask why that is she recognizes the notes Rosa has been focusing on. 

\- a short film without sound 

\- a deaf main character portrayed by a deaf person (preferably Rosa)

\- S U B T I T L E S

\- a queer love story 

FUCK! 

As she refocuses she sees that Rosa looks concerned now. Like she regrets reading over it and - yeah, no - she added notes on the side. 

\- a short film without sound - _when about showcasing deafness then a brilliant idea_

\- a deaf main character portrayed by a deaf person (preferably Rosa)

\- S U B T I T L E S - _Y E S_

\- a queer love story - _double yes!_

\- _when you’re reading this, G, I love this idea! Our representation in media is terrible and if you can’t find someone to portray your character I’d love to act in your short film. If you want I can help you with the script. xx Rosa_

Gina is smiling. For some reason she thought that _this_ would ruin the little friendship she managed to build to Rosa but it hasn’t and she’s so happy!

Underneath her notes she adds **it’s not much yet but I have some ideas and I’d be happy if you’d help me tbh but for now let’s just go outside n walk?**

Rosa nods, so they pack up whatever stuff they left lying around and leave the apartment. It’s getting dark already and it’s also much chillier than Gina anticipated. She grabs Rosa’s arm and drags her into a coffee shop. 

They sit down and Gina asks what the other woman wants to drink. After getting her order she goes to the counter and gets them both what they want. 

“One Latte and one herbal tea, please”, she grins. She’s so overjoyed. Rosa doesn’t hate her and likes her ideas even and wants to help her out. It’s perfect. 

After she pays and receives her drinks she returns to the table, where Rosa produced a notepad and two pens. Written on the top already stands **thought it’d be easier this way, thanks for paying!**

And without knowing quite why Gina starts spelling out _T-E-A-C-H_ (which takes her longer than she might admit) and points to herself with a questioning look. 

**teach you? ASL? Why?**

Gina huffs and rolls her eyes. **bc talking to u will be eazier this way, classes aren’t as fast and like idk**

Rosa laughs loudly. 

**you’re so cute! be careful or I might fall for you, my boyfriend wouldn’t like that**

_Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend._

Of course there was a catch. 

Rosa scribbles more down on the paper but suddenly, Gina couldn’t be bothered to read it. 

A hand, surprisingly warm and soft, with slender fingers, lays itself on her arm. 

Gina looks up and green collide with brown and the hand points to what it has written already. 

**I’m joking - we broke up this morning**

**I’m sorry** Gina adds onto the conversation but she’s not really sorry. She wants Rosa Diaz for herself. Which, yeah, it’s selfish but she doesn’t care.

**nothing to be sorry for, he was borderline crazy and I didn’t feel safe anymore so I broke it off**

Gina nods. She doesn’t know this guy she’s been with so she chooses not to comment on it, though she’d love to. 

They stay in the café for hours. Gina learns a lot of sign basics and she thinks she’s falling for the woman opposite her. 

**so you’re studying medicine?** the auburn-haired woman eventually asks after they’ve been discussing some other subjects and landed on Rosa’s field of study **idk why we never talked about this**

Rosa smiles softly **yeah! I love medicine so much! I tried combining it with Business School but didn’t like it, medicine though? my passion** she points to the word ‘medicine’ and signs it and repeats this with ‘business school’ as well. Gina mimics her, committing them to memory. 

**y u never on campus tho** Gina decides to be bold because otherwise, she wouldn’t get answers out of the secretive Latina. 

**you sure ask a lot of questions. no one does this ever** she leaves space and starts a new paragraph **I do it online. Bachelor’s degree at NYU.** Gina thinks she’s finished elaborating but then delicate fingers grab the pen again **so what’s up with this ‘ideas for short films’?** again she goes through some vocabulary and Gina repeats them, trying to burn them into her brain. She needs to learn this. 

She _needs_ to be able to communicate with Rosa without pen and paper. She wants to look her into the eyes and convey her messages. No stupid paper between them.

 **we have to produce a film for a class, the whole thing makes up my grade and it’s supposed to be like 8 mins? idk honestly & I wanted to showcase a story that’s not seen often, it’s the whole reason I ever wanted to study film anyway & then u came along and I tried researching asl films but there’s N O N E, at least none where it’s the main focus but also not the whole story so I thought y not make this? create something that doesn’t exist** why is she writing so much, why is she such a rambling mess all of a sudden? **u were the inspiration btw, to even try and gain a new perspective**

(She wants to add “can I take u out on a date? romantic stylez, because I think I’m falling for you” but she doesn’t. Not today. She just broke up with her boyfriend.)

That’s when the waitress comes over and announces that she’s about to close the store and she’d be more than grateful if the couple could leave. “You’re so cute together but my shift is almost over.” She looks very apologetically and Gina blushes furiously. 

As the waitress leaves again Rosa taps her on the arm and then points to their paper. **what? why are you so red, G?**

“G”, she thinks. From now on no one else is allowed to call her that. 

**nothin, they’re closing so we should go** she doesn’t need to know that the waitress thought they’re a couple and that Gina likes the idea and -

 **there’s something you’re not telling me** Rosa adds. Gina shakes her head. Not today. 

As they leave the café Rosa lets the door fall into its lock and it’s rather loud. Gina flinches and the Latina looks unfazed. 

It makes Gina want to kiss her.

They walk down the street and Rosa is signing to herself as if trying to work things out or planning something. 

They land back at Gina’s front door. _thank you_ Gina signs and grins. She hugs the slightly taller woman and thinks about kissing her on the cheek. 

She doesn’t. 

They wave at each other and as Rosa turns around to leave, Gina lets out a breath she didn’t know she held in. 

She doesn’t recognize the sound of a door opening behind her, too occupied with watching Rosa leave. 

“Well, someone is in love”, a voice song-songs and she knows who it is without needing to turn around. She’s startled nonetheless. 

“Jake! Shut up!”, she smiles and rolls her eyes, composes herself and then turns around and marches in the direction of her room. 

Before reaching her safe heaven she turns back around again. 

“Fuck, Jake. I think you’re not completely wrong.”

They spend the whole night talking about their crushes and Jake tells her about his amazing first date with Amy. Both of them had gotten super drunk and they ended up sleeping together. He doesn’t know why but he loves this nerdy Type A girl so much. 

He’s head over heels in love. 

She’s head over heels in love. 

They’re in too deep already. 

(Gina receives a text that gets drowned in all her other notifications. 

**Ro🖤: it was a very nice evening**

**Ro🖤: _message deleted_** )


	6. in which she remembers what sun on her skin feels like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there’s gonna be a time jump between the end of September/start of October to mid December, just bear with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

She sees the messages a day too late. And she never felt this bad about not tending to her messages before.

**G: just saw this, I’m so sorry, Rosie**

**G: we should do it again sometime, I really enjoyed it**

She doesn’t get an answer until late that night, an apology stating that she was working on her assignments and went to a job interview and she’s sorry as well.

For the next weeks they try to talk as much as possible, neither ready to miss out on anything but the texting slowly fades to “good morning” and “good night” and sometimes Gina opens their conversation and types out “I miss you” but she never sends it.

* * *

At the beginning of October Gina and Jake meet some of Amy’s other friends.

For one, there’s Raymond Holt. He’s currently working towards a Ph.D. in Art History with a focus on West African Culture. He also is fluent in six languages as well as three sign languages and has a vast knowledge of classic film studies.

He and his long-term boyfriend Kevin, who is acquiring a Ph.D. in classical arts, invited them over for a friendly get together with many other colleagues and fellow students attending. Kevin is a brilliant cook as well and Charles is envious of his skills.

The other one is Terry Jeffords. An interior design grad student who just became a father of twins, Cagney and Lacey, and works in student counseling.

They all spend an eventful Thanksgiving in the Holt-Kozner-household, but without Rosa.

She opted out because Thanksgiving is one of the busiest days of the year and the clinic she’s working for is in need for every hand.

* * *

Now it’s close to December and Gina starts studying for her exams. She really can’t fail them, can’t fail herself, can’t fail her mom.

She is swamped with coursework and her social life might as well be pronounced dead at this point. She hasn’t seen daylight in what feels like an eternity and she can’t remember what the sun feels like on her skin.

She tried starting on all the homework - that she still has to hand in before the end of the term - on several occasions but in the end she’s done nothing but rewrite the first sentence of her screenplay but no matter how she phrases it, it just does not feel right.

She knows she got the basic outline but she just isn’t sure how to start. She feels like she needs to do it justice. For Rosa.

It’s all she can focus on and all her mind revolves around. She thinks about it the moment she wakes up, while she eats breakfast, while she’s doing other coursework, even while she sleeps.

She’s in a slump.

But that’s just part of the reason she feels so down and exhausted.

The other part is that she has heard even less from Rosa for the past three weeks. They planned on meeting up again but Rosa used her new job at the clinic as an excuse on multiple occasions for not being able to meet up and neither anticipated that they’d have so much to do and so little time for each other.

And then the term is finally ending for her and even though she passed her classes with flying colors she can’t celebrate it or be happy.

Gina understands that it’s an opportunity for Rosa to make some money with her unique set of skills as a doctor for hard of hearing and deaf people and gaining some experience while she has a head start on her coursework but it _sucks_.

She’s just so used to texting the younger woman that it’s a part that’s obviously missing from her daily life.

It’s like she left a gaping black hole where there was nothing before. And Gina was content with nothingness.

So much for getting over her crush.

At that moment she gets a new text and she feels excited to read it, hoping it’s from the person she just thought about.

She asked her what she’s doing over the Christmas break and if they could maybe see each other.

Still no answer. Instead, it’s a text from Jake.

**Jakester: Gines, b ready soon bc we gon go 2 Ames! U need 2 get outta ya room!!!**

**Jakester: title of your sextape**

She feels defeated. She hasn’t heard from Rosa since yesterday and it really messes with her head.

She should at least feel happy for him, she thinks. He’s gotten his shit together and asked Amy out for realz and they’re a thing now but she just doesn’t have it in her. Not for now.

She just wants to be happy as well and it shouldn’t be that complicated.

**Gines: can’t! have homework 2 do & u know it**

**Gines: u r literally 1 room over, couldn’t have told me in person?**

**Jakester: don’t care you have a solid 30, then I’m coming 2 drag u out ready or not**

**Jakester: nah, I’m not moving from the sofa for another 30, time starts now!**

She sighs. _This might as well happen._

She gets up to take a quick shower and puts on a baggy shirt and some jeans she hasn’t washed for at least a week and a half (don’t judge her, who’s got time to do laundry anyway) and brushes her hair.

Right as she’s asking who else they’re going to meet, Jake calls out to her. “Your 30 minutes are up, Gina!”, he exclaims from the living room. He turns off the movie he’s been watching ( _Die Hard 3_ ) and comes over to her room.

“Ames is waiting downstairs. We should get going”, he adds, standing in her doorway and smiling softly.

“Stop pitying me”, Gina demands. She hates how he looks at her. She just misses Rosa, she’s not dying, for fuck’s sake.

He just lifts his hands in defense. “Let's go?”, before stepping out of her room again. He puts on his shoes and as does she and they leave.

“Where are we going anyway?”, Gina asks when they meet Amy at the front door.

She catches the couple exchanging looks and Amy shaking her head slightly before both of them answering “Nowhere” at the same time.

As it turns out they’re not going to Amy’s apartment because they’re taking the subway. And if there’s one thing Gina hates about New York it’s public transit.

Too many people. Too much noise. Too much smells she refuses to place or she has to vomit.

They have to change trains at some point and their journey takes them about 25 minutes in total. And she still doesn’t know where they’re going.

She’s so relieved when they finally exit and she can breathe some fresh, well fresh _er_ air, but she doesn’t recognize this neighborhood they’ve landed it.

She knows they’re in Brooklyn but that’s about it.

It’s weird, she muses, how you can live in a city your whole life and still, every day you discover places you’ve never been to before.

As they round the corner a building that reads “Interfaith Medical Center” comes into view. It’s like she has a feeling what they’re doing here but she does not want to give her hopes up yet.

She takes some steps in front of the couple and turns around, looking at Amy questioningly.

“She’s right there on the bench”, Amy confirms her suspicions and as Gina turns around again her eyes instantly focus on a young woman in a white coat, wearing dark blue scrubs underneath. She’s wearing white shoes and her hair is up in space buns.

Gina’s feet are working on their own accord. They’re taking steps towards Rosa and she can’t stop them.

Amy and Jake fall back significantly, giving them time alone and some space.

Their eyes meet and Gina can’t stop smiling and Rosa is smiling as well and suddenly Gina remembers what sun on her skin feels like.

She skids to a stop right in front of Rosa and sits down. They just sit there, smiling and grinning and Gina feels so excited again.

 _”G? What are you doing here?”_ , her face looks extremely confused. So she didn’t know about this either.

Gina shrugs her shoulders as if to say _don’t ask me_ and they both burst into laughter. Then Rosa pulls the older woman into a hug.

 _”I missed you”_ they both sign at the same time.

Over the last six weeks that they haven’t seen each other Gina accumulated quite the vocabulary and knowledge about ASL and Rosa is impressed. No one ever put so much effort into a friendship with her.

They start signing and conversing and from a distance they might seem like crazy people but they’re just two young women who didn’t realize yet that the person opposite them is as much in love with them as they are.

Then Rosa checks her phone and grows very serious very suddenly and signs very hastily. But Gina doesn’t understand.

Rosa types something out on her phone and Gina’s phone chimes in return.

**Ro🖤: my break is over but I’ll come to yours tomorrow? 12 pm? we can work on your script**

When Gina looks up, Rosa has already vanished. She catches a last glimpse of her before space buns and a white coat disappear behind the glass doors.

 _Tomorrow at 12, we can work on your script_ , and for the first time in almost two months Gina is looking forward to waking up the next day.


	7. is this a date or like just a casual hangout and why am I so useless right now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

On their way home, Gina is extremely overjoyed. She’s going to see Rosa again. Finally. 

Jake and Amy are sitting opposite of her in the subway and while Amy looks defeated and hands him a $5 bill, Jake grins and pumps his fists in victory. 

“I told you it’s because of Rosa”, he hears his attempt at whispering and suddenly she understands. They were betting on her and her behavior. 

Whatever, she thinks. She got to see the badass woman again (and she got to see Rosa in a coat and scrubs and space buns and everything about this look screams absolute softie) and talk to her. 

It’s a win-win. 

The rest of the day she spends flashing out her ideas for the film because as much as she wants to pretend that she’d gotten something done she has absolutely no evidence for it (because she got nothing done). 

She falls asleep around 1:30 am at the kitchen desk, her notes now serving a double-purpose as a pillow for that night. 

She’s awoken by freshly done nails that are using her cheek as a catwalk. Rosa is way too early and she’s aware of it but she didn’t have anything else to do. 

She texted the film student multiple times if she’s awake and if she could come around already because she’s bored but she’d never gotten an answer. 

When Jake opened the door, after confirming to her that at least he’s awake and yes she should definitely come over now, she sees why she’d never gotten a reply. 

She finds Gina hunched over at the kitchen table, sleeping. Her notes are strewn about and her hair is splayed out as well and someone, she assumes Jake, put a blanket over her. 

It’s not at all what she expected but she can’t help but sign _cute_ with a lot of adoration in her eyes. 

Rosa takes a picture of Gina and tucks her phone away before she takes a seat on another chair at the table and lets her fingertips and subsequently her newly manicured nails run over Gina’s cheek. 

Gina opens her eyes and finds brown ones staring back at her. She’s so startled she almost falls out of the seat but she manages to compose herself just in time. 

She lifts her head and one of papers is still clinging to it. Gina’s face turns red instantly. 

Way to look good in front of your crush. 

She tears the piece of paper from her cheek and puts it back on the table and then fishes for a discarded paper and pen. 

**how late?** she asks Rosa. 

**10ish? I texted you**

Gina looks for her phone and finds it under a pile of papers eventually. 

83 new notifications. 

4 texts from Ro🖤 

**I’m sorry... breakfast?** , Gina offers. It’s too early for her to deal with other languages right now. Rosa nods in response and Gina gets up and motions for her to follow her into the kitchen. 

The radio’s running almost silently in the background and _Dance With Somebody_ by Whitney Houston just started playing. 

Rosa’s slender figure is hoisting itself onto the counter and she gets settled as Gina gets out a bowl and some ingredients for pancakes. She mixes the batter quickly, getting lost in the music and mouthing along to the lyrics and dancing along in minimalistic movements. 

Then she’s getting a pan from one of the hooks attached to a wall and puts it on the stove. 

Absentmindedly, still engrossed in the music playing from the radio, she starts pouring the batter and thin pancakes are slowly stacking up. 

The woman on top of the counter is filming the scene that’s unfolding. Gina has her back turned to her and she’s using her full body to dance now, occasionally using the spatula as a microphone.

She thinks it’s cute and endearing and she wants to be able to relive this moment at any given time. 

Rosa has to chuckle and Gina finishes off preparing the last pancake and turning down the stove before turning around. 

She sees Rosa filming her antics and she’s oddly okay with it. As the younger woman puts her phone to the side, Gina is pulling her off the countertop and putting her hands on Rosa’s waist and they begin dancing. 

Suddenly the music doesn’t matter anymore and for a few minutes, it’s only them. Gina’s hands on Rosa’s waist and Rosa’s hands around Gina’s neck and they are slowly spinning in circles. 

And Gina advances slowly, ready to kiss this beautiful woman in her arms when she hears Jake clearing his throat. 

“You’re back in the world of the living”, he smiles his big goofy smile, “I smelled pancakes”, and grabs some, puts them on plate and vanishes again. 

Great, Gina thinks. Just great. 

She shows Rosa her room and tells her to settle down wherever, putting the plate of pancakes on her study desk. Then she leaves and grabs her notes and returns. 

They eat their blueberry pancakes in comfortable silence, both of them sitting on the carpet rather than on the bed. And after finishing up their breakfast Gina hands Rosa her notes and ideas she has so far before vanishing to the kitchen to do the dishes or literally anything else but watch Rosa read through her thoughts.

* * *

Meanwhile, the woman in Gina’s room is going over the notes she was left with and if she wasn’t sure yet that she had developed a crush on Gina, this confirmed it. 

_\- Camera Shot: scenes are all one shot but multiple cameras so we can cut it together_

_\- Rosa’s perspective of some events and instances_

_\- Storyline:_

_\- It starts with Rosa. Everything’s silent throughout the whole thing_

_\- she’s in a bedroom standing before a mirror and tying her hair up_

_\- She goes on a run to a park, THE PARK WHERE WE MADE EYE CONTACT_

_\- It’s a nice day, sunny, so she sits under a tree in the shadow and unpacks a book and headphones_

_\- It’s still silent but the headphones are so nobody comes up to her to talk to her, she looks more occupied (at least that’s what she told me when I asked?)_

_\- Camera over her shoulder so same line of vision and she sees another girl, we hire an actress I guess_

_\- Actress runs away after their eyes meet_

_\- They meet again bc they find out they have mutual friends, Amy plays that part bc none of her classmates know sign language and she needs that for the scene_

_\- They meet by the bench, Rosa is sketching and they start writing on the paper and later on they continue by texting, cutting to several instances when she receives texts from the actress_

_\- It’s almost a month when they meet again because of circumstances_

_\- She realizes actress went from I know nothing about deaf people to some good basic skills in asl_

_\- She realizes she might be in love, talks to Amy about it_

_\- Actress appears to ask her out on a date_

_\- cut to different dates_

_\- Montage ends with them laying in bed, actress holding Rosa_

_\- Actress asks will u be my gf? In asl_

_\- rosa nods_

_\- End credits_

_**\- okay holy shit G! that’s a whole lot more than I expected! I love this so much!! I don’t know how you’re going to realize it but you’re amazing so I’m sure you have a plan**_ Rosa adds to the end of her extensive notes. 

She can’t imagine how it’s supposed to look and how Gina envisions it but she’s certain Gina will do it justice. Granted, she came over with the expectation to actually needing to do some things for it but this is basically finished in her eyes.

Suddenly, Gina is sitting down next to her again. She’s taken long enough with the dishes and she doesn’t even know what and finally found the courage to return again. 

She looks at Rosa expectantly and the woman in return just points to the notes. 

As Gina is reading over Rosa’s addition she feels her face getting hot again. 

She likes it she likes it she likes it. 

_”What now?”_ , Rosa asks her eventually. Gina just shrugs, not knowing what to do now and how to continue as well. 

_”Movie?”_ , she suggests. The Latina agrees. 

That’s how they find themselves in Gina’s bed some minutes later. They sit closely together, the laptop settled in front of them on the bed as well, the opening credits of _Paris is Burning_ appearing on the screen. 

It’s one of Gina’s favorite documentaries because it’s so real and history-heavy and the pictures are beautiful. The whole film is just a masterpiece. 

She tries to get more comfortable and apparently so does Rosa because as soon as Gina stretches her legs she’s putting a pillow on Gina’s upper thighs and lays her head down on it. She curls her legs in between the space of Gina’s body and the impending wall. 

Gina puts the laptop on her legs as well so Rosa can watch comfortably and then she absentmindedly lets her left hand run through Rosa’s hair. 

It’s not even 12 pm and one of the two people basically just woke up but both of them are asleep no half an hour into the movie.


	8. your life is put on Holt (even queens need a reality check sometimes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Gina is 24ish in this story I imagine Holt to be like 35 maybe? I imagine him doing his PhD but he spent a few years abroad here and there and that’s like not the actual age difference between them but for the sake of the story it is now, here he’s gonna be like a father figure to Gina I guess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

They wake up late and confused. This certainly wasn’t how they planned to spend their day but both of them are glad this happened. 

Gina wakes up first. She regrets falling asleep in the most uncomfortable positions twice. Her back is killing her already but it’s worth it, she concludes because she has Rosa laying in bed next to her, her head still in Gina’s lap. 

Instead of having her head laying in the direction of the now discarded laptop, it’s now directed to Gina. There’s a blanket over her body that clearly belongs to Jake and now that her mind clears up she notices that the laptop is settled on her study desk. 

She assumes Jake came in to check on them and saw them sleeping and took care of them. 

Sometimes she really loves her best friend. 

Gina smiles adoringly at the head of black hair on her legs and starts caressing it. She tucks some stray locks behind her ear and gets a look of the sleeping woman’s face.

She looks so content and calm and at peace that it makes Gina’s heart soar. With her thumb, she softly strokes Rosa’s cheek and that wakes the other girl up. 

Gina retracts her hand and Rosa shakes her head. _”D-O-N-T-S-T-O-P”_ , she spells out lazily and Gina smiles before tangling her fingers into black curls again. 

They spend at least another hour like this, both of them on their phones, while Gina still combs through Rosa’s hair gently. 

Neither of them dares to address the situation as a whole. It feels so domestic and familiar and Gina knows she could get used to this. 

When Rosa lifts her head eventually and sits up in the process Gina is already missing the warmth and familiarity. 

Her phone’s alerting her to a new message. 

**Ro🖤: it’s late, I need to go**

**Ro🖤: I have an early shift tomorrow**

They spend another 15 minutes just sitting next to each other and texting. 

**Ro🖤: so what are you doing for Christmas?**

Gina has to laugh out loud and hides her head in Rosa’s shoulder. _”I’m Jewish”_ she answers in signs. 

Rosa’s face contorts in realization. _Oh_. 

**Ro🖤: well, what are you doing over break then?**

**G: funny u should ask because nothing**

**G: u**

_”Family”_ , her face distorts again. 

**G: well I’m here if u need me**

Rosa gets up at last and they leave the room. Gina observes how she’s putting on her boots and grabs a helmet she’s never seen before. 

_“Yours?”_ , she points to it and asks. Rosa nods. 

_”My motorcycle is outside”_

_”Be safe - text me when you are home”_

Rosa nods and then hugs Gina. A hug that screams ‘I want more than friendship’ and Gina is the deaf person in this scenario. For someone who is pretty good at noticing details, she’s so oblivious sometimes. 

As soon a the door closes Gina is panicking.  
_WHAT was that whole day and why is she such a coward and didn’t address it_ , there are so many questions overlapping in her head and thoughts crossing her mind she barely processes she is laying in her bed again and sent a text out. 

A cry for help. 

A _desperate_ cry for help. 

She gets an immediate answer to meet them at 10 in the morning in their home.

* * *

At exactly 10 am she finds herself on the doorsteps to the Captain's apartment. She can't remember quite why their friend group took to this nickname for Holt but it's fitting. 

He's authoritative, assertive even, and almost like a father figure if Gina ever had to describe one. Not that she has any experience with that subject anyway. 

She's not sure yet if that was the right call but she definitely couldn't have talked to Amy or Jake (or god forbid: Charles) about this. 

”Gina, I see you are on time. Kevin has just left to walk Cheddar so we have the appropriate amount of privacy for your issue. You have to elaborate first, of course, as I have no clue about your matter.”

She laughs relieved. In her heart, she knows that this was, in fact, the right decision. 

”Captain, I don't even know where to start. You know Rosa, right? Lives with Amy?”

He nods. ”Of course. Rosa Diaz. Medicine student. What is it about her?”

She inhales deeply. Here goes nothing. ”I think - no I'm pretty sure I want to take her on a date but there are multiple issues. Firstly, does she like me? Is she like interested in me or is this just some form of intense friendship and secondly _how_ do I ask her out on a date? I barely know the basics of sign language and I'm definitely flying blind here and I need some help, Captain.” 

Holt, in turn, sits on the sofa stoically, his face never once betraying him while she's rambling on and on about her crush. 

”If I am not mistaken it seems you strive to embark on a relationship with Rosa Diaz. Is she interested in you? I cannot answer that because I do not know her that well -”

Gina interjects and tells him about their not-date from the previous day and the actual reason she finds herself in his immaculate apartment. 

”This could have very well been a date, Gina. It sounds like one to me. Not to overanalyze the situation but you danced in the kitchen and you spend the day in bed together, a very intimate setting. She seems to have spent her day off with you. In conclusion, this was more than just a hangout.”

Gina is stunned into silence. Deep down she knew this already but getting called out like this? She didn't expect that when contacting Holt. 

”As for your second concern: this is easily solvable. Essentially you want to ask _Do you want to go on a date with me?_ but in ASL it would be _date - two of us - go to you want to you_.” 

He pauses to make sure that his apprentice follows. 

“So first off you sign date”, he talks her through it while doing the signs. “Date is two D’s that are kissing”, he shows her how to do it “then _two of us. Go. You. Want. You_ ”, he then repeats it in one go and Gina mirrors him. She tries it a few more times until Holt deems it accurate. 

“When are you planning on asking her out?”, he asks tentatively, not sure if inquiring like this in a friend’s privacy is adequate. 

“I’m not sure yet but thank you so much, Captain. I owe you one”, she replies while getting up. “I have to go now but really, thank you so much.” 

He nods in return and escorts her to the door right as Kevin returns with their Welsh Corgi Cheddar. 

“Ah, Gina, you are leaving already? I was not informed you were coming”, Kevin looks slightly disappointed. 

She apologizes to him and they agree to see each other soon and then she is out the front door.

* * *

The next few weeks are going by fast and if Gina’s honest she can’t remember half of it, spending most of her time watching Netflix and catching up on sleep. 

She’s been texting with Rosa a lot as well but due to Rosa returning to her family in New Jersey over Christmas they haven’t seen much of each other. 

Before she knows it it’s New Year's Eve. Rosa’s told her that she’s going insane at home but she can’t just leave so Gina decides to visit her. 

She texts Amy and swears her to secrecy and asks her for Rosa’s address and the next thing she knows is that she’s sitting on a train to NJ. 

And then Amy is picking her up from the train station and suddenly she’s at Rosa Diaz’ front door. 

Amy’s left again already because Jake is waiting for her at her home, both of them having spent their break together at Amy’s and now getting ready for an NYE date. 

She knocks on the wooden front door. 

It’s loud inside the Diaz-household so she’s surprised when someone opens it, a carbon copy of Rosa standing in front of her. The woman is 28, maybe 30 and talks to her. 

Fuck, Gina snaps back into reality. 

“Hello, I said who are you? What do you want?”

Gina hesitates. This woman is so intimidating. 

“I’m here for Rosa?”, she asks timidly. The older Rosa huffs and rolls her eyes. 

“Stay here, I’ll get her”, and then older Rosa leaves and Gina is standing in front of a closed door again. 

It’s reopening a minute later and this time real Rosa is standing in front of her. 

_”G?”_ , she looks surprised, standing in the doorframe in grey sweatpants and an old U of Columbia hoodie, her hair tied up in a lazy bun. 

She looks ethereal. 

Gina motions for her to step outside and she does, closing the door behind her. 

_”I missed you”_ , Gina admits and Rosa smiles. 

_”Yeah, me too”_

Again, Gina inhales deeply and exhales all the pent up anxiety. 

_”Do you want to go out on a date with me?”_ , she finally asks and for a few moments, the world seems to stand still. 

The birds are stopping mid-air and she holds her breath and the air is cold but unmoving. 

Rosa starts grinning. A smile so big it looks foreign in her face, but a smile Gina wants to see there more often. She doesn’t want to be a stranger to this much joy. 

And then Rosa nods and embraces her in a bone-crushing hug and they stand like this for a while. 

She feels the Latina’s heartbeat going fast and faster and faster and she feels her heartbeat and she feels them syncing up. 

As Rosa lets her go she signs a lot, it’s fast and for Gina merely coherent and Rosa laughs loudly and that sound fills Gina’s heart with so much happiness. 

The younger woman grabs her by the wrist and pulls her inside, planning on sneaking her unannounced guest past her mother but she fails. 

They make eye contact and Gina feels the tension in the room. 

“Rosalita, who is that?”, her mother asks eventually and Gina feels Rosa tense up significantly. She gets her attention and asks if she should answer for herself. 

Rosa nods and there are desperation and thankfulness in her eyes. 

“I’m Gina Linetti. The human form of the 100 emoji. You must be Rosa’s mom. I’ve heard lots about you”, she smiles politely. Gina’s great with parents. They all love her. “I’m taking your daughter out tonight. I hope that is okay with you, Ma’am.” 

_Ma’am_ feels like a foreign object in Gina’s mouth. 

Eventually, Rosa’s mother nods and they vanish into Rosa’s room. 

Gina takes out her phone and opens her notes. **dw, just told her that I’ve heard lots about her from u and that I take u out tonight**. 

And Rosa is so strangely thankful for not having to ask. It’s like Gina understands her on a level as barely anyone does. 

_”Thank you”_ , she answers. 

She gets ready quickly, taking some fresh clothes and leaving into to shower and get ready and Gina is left in her room. 

She occupies herself by scrolling through Twitter and checking what movies are set to premiere next year. 

When Rosa re-enters Gina chokes on air for a second. _”Hot”_ is all she manages to get out. Rosa blushes furiously. 

They leave Rosa’s home around 9 pm, both of them in thick coats and Rosa carrying one bottle of cheap wine in one hand. 

They start walking and that’s when Gina gets aware of the fact that she didn’t plan this far ahead. She never plans this far ahead. 

Rosa seems to sense her uneasiness and takes her hand. She’s directing them into a forest clearing and some minutes later (and something that feels an awful lot like a hike) later they’re standing at the edge of a cliff. 

_”My favorite spot”_ , Rosa announces. 

Behind them is a bench and they get settled on it, talking and occasionally drinking some of the cheap tasting red wine. 

This time Rosa takes out her phone, not really knowing how to convey all her emotions in a language they’d both understand. 

**this is perfect**

And Gina agrees because this _is_ perfect. 

She leans in, taking Rosa’s face in her hands and then they’re kissing. 

They’re finally kissing. 

And in their peripheral, they see the first fireworks announcing 2019 and the start of something special. 

Something only meant for the two young lovers on a bench in the middle of Nowhere, New Jersey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah I think I might be dead now


	9. don’t you see (I care about you, deeply)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

**Ro🖤: I need you, will wait outside after your class**

Gina receives this text in the middle of her cinematography class and she’s thrown off by it. Rosa is a person that would never admit she’d need someone to be there for her so she instantly knows it’s important. 

It’s been almost a week since their first date and it’s her first week back after the holidays. It’s safe to say that this wasn’t how she expected to see Rosa again.

She tries to focus for the last 20 minutes of class but she’s aware her mind will be on Rosa and the few words she got, so she makes up an excuse to leave early. They already got their assignment and even if not it’s the least of her worries right now. 

As soon as she opens the door to the hallway her eyes are roaming to find Rosa. Instantly they fixate on someone in a leather jacket sitting on the stairs. They resemble who Gina was looking for, and as she steps closer she realizes that it is, in fact, her. 

The Latina looks distressed. She’s signing to herself and mumbling and it all seems incoherent. The signs are too small to make out, she’s barely moving but it looks like she’s working herself up and spiraling. 

Gina gets ripped out of her trance when Rosa signs _idiot_ over and over again. 

_”Idiot, idiot, idiot”_

She sprints over to her and stands in front of the clearly miserable woman, that finally looks up and recognizes Gina. 

Tears are swimming in her eyes and she looks kind of helpless and Gina decides to take them somewhere out of sight. 

She offers a hand to Rosa and as she’s grabbing it, Gina is pulling her up. 

_”Lets go to my home? It’s safe there and no one is around”_ , she offers an explanation to the Deaf girl before she’s just dragging her somewhere and Rosa is in the dark about what’s going on. 

She nods. 

Classes are still going on so it’s relatively calm in the corridors. They’re still holding hands, Gina’s heart beating rapidly and uncontrollably against her chest. She’s aware that her palms are sweaty and she’s sorry that she’s clutching Rosa’s hand so tightly (and Rosa’s holding just as tight) but she wouldn’t let go for all the money the world had to offer or all the stars in the sky. 

They’re at Gina’s in less than 10 minutes and she’s unlocking the doors and leading Rosa inside. Gina’s grateful that Jake isn’t home yet because he would ask all the wrong questions, questions Gina couldn’t answer right now even if she tried. 

She’s guiding Rosa into her bedroom and they sit down on her bed, hugging now, Rosa in her embrace. And Rosa knows that she’s safe right there, right now. For that moment. 

And then the vulnerable woman starts crying. It’s silent tears at first, an attempt on not being detected and called out for showing weakness but then Gina holds her closer and the dam breaks. 

_She’s such an idiot._

_”Idiot, idiot, idiot”_ , Gina feels and hears how hard Rosa’s hitting herself on the forehead and she’s sure it must hurt. 

With her right hand she grabs her wrist right before she’s about to inflict pain on herself again. She guides the arm down carefully before asking her to _”S-T-O-P”_. 

A loud sob escapes Rosa’s mouth and she hides in Gina’s shoulder. 

The film student slowly guides them onto the bed and lays them down. And they lay like this for a while:

Rosa on the left side, holding tight on to the younger woman as if her life depends on it. She’s the ship and without Gina, she’ll be drifting away from the shore. 

Gina is holding Rosa with her left hand and her right one is holding her head to her heart, in hopes the crying woman can feel her heartbeat and feel at least a little bit calm. 

Gina kisses the crown of black locks and softly combs through them as the now exhausted girl is slowly falling asleep. Every now and then caressing her cheek. 

When she’s sure Rosa is resting she carefully gets up and takes off the Latina’s boots. She wakes her up in the process and Rosa is patting the spot beside her, a silent request for Gina to join her again. 

And of course she obeys. 

They fall asleep like this as well. One in the embrace of another, feeling at peace for the first time in months.

* * *

Gina wakes up first. She’s disoriented and it takes her a few seconds to put the memory fragments together. 

That’s when she notices the weight on her upper body and black hair spilled everywhere and the additional body heat. 

There’s an additional body in her bed. 

It takes her a few more seconds before she puts two and two together. She remembers the texts and Rosa crying and then falling asleep. 

She looks down on the sleeping figure and runs her hand through the soft black curls, swiping them away from closed eyes. Rosa looks so at peace at that moment. 

Then brown eyes are looking up to her as well. They look timid and apologetic like they too are remembering the most recent events. 

Gina smiles at Rosa. 

_”Water?”_ , she looks questioningly at the woman in her arms who nods in return. 

Gina gets up and gets them both something to drink. She grabs some discarded paper and a pen from the kitchen table as well. 

When she comes back, Rosa is sitting up, taking one of the glasses and downing the liquid in one swift go.

Gina retakes the glass and puts it to the side, handing Rosa the paper and pen. 

**do u wanna talk about it?** is written on the top of it. 

If she’s honest with herself she knows it’s a long shot. She expects Rosa to just shake her head and pretend this never happened. She doesn’t expect her to take the pen and offer up any kind of explanation. 

But she does. 

**I came out to my parents** is written in tinier than usual letters **it didn’t go well**. 

When Gina finishes reading she looks Rosa in the eyes and they look pleading like they’re begging her to not continue this conversation. 

_”Okay”_ , Gina signs. It’s more than she hoped for anyway. 

They’re laying down again, Rosa back in Gina’s arms, fingers dancing gracefully through thick and soft hair again. Rosa closes her eyes and quickly drifts off again. 

Gina’s sorry for how Rosa feels and for how she was treated apparently.

She never had to go through that. She’s been out to her family (read: her mom, Jake’s mom, and Jake) since she’s been 13. She announced that “Gina Linetti is gonna love who she’s gonna love and that’s that” and her mom always only wanted happiness for her daughter. 

Needless to say that Jake’s mom was overjoyed as well. Jake came out to his mom about 15 minutes prior as bisexual. Gina had known for about 7 months at this point. 

They’ve both known since forever and they both came out to loving and supporting parents and never had to deal with their rejection. 

She just wishes that one day Rosa could experience that, too.

For now, she hugs the upset girl tighter, hoping to convey the message that maybe someday everything will be okay. 

She can't promise it but she promises herself to at least try to make it better. 

In the back of her mind, she remembers that she is supposed to be in another class right now but she doesn't have it in her to care. 

Eventually, Gina falls asleep too, praying that everything will turn out to be just alright.


	10. a play by gay (coming out, rosa stylez)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

She’s known she likes girls as well as boys since the 7th grade. She watched “Saved by the Bell” and as one of the main actors appeared on screen, she deemed him hot. She didn’t put much thought into it when one of the main actresses entered and she was also hot. 

So, she’s known for a long time. When she was in 9th grade she discovered the word bisexual and she knew instantly that this was what she is. 

She just never came around to tell her parents. 

There were multiple occasions where she was about to do it but then there came comments about how “a girl loving a girl is so wrong” and “at least our daughters didn’t turn out like that”. 

It’s fragments of conversations she knows happened because one of her sisters usually translated for her. Her parents often left her out of conversations, never knowing how anxious she’d get when they did that and she was left in the dark about important subject matters. 

They just never fully understood her perspective, just wanting her to be a normal girl and not the odd one out. 

They forced her to learn lip reading (but she refused to really use that skill unless it’s really necessary) and to speak (which she still hates doing to this day) and it took her a long time to learn to love herself in the face of the denial of her parents. 

Only her sisters really understood but even communicating to them and being open to them turned out to get harder and harder over the years and Rosa started isolating herself more and more from her family. 

By the time she turned 18 and moved from New Jersey to New York, she gave up mentally on coming out to her parents. For her, there was no chance that her parents would ever accept her for coming out anyway. 

And now with 21 years of age, she decided to try to actually come out to her conservative immigrant parents. Of course, there's a reasoning behind it - bright red hair and green-blueish eyes and a big but caring personality - but she always just wanted to talk to her mom about girl-crushes the way her sisters talked to her about boy-crushes. She always just wanted her version of normal. 

So, yeah, it took her all her courage to text her mom and dad to ask them if they could have lunch together on Friday. They instantly agreed. 

So it's an early Friday morning and it's 9 am and Rosa is downright anxious. She's never talked with anyone about her anxiety and depression except for a therapist and Amy. 

Amy, the now 20 years old girl she met when one was 16 and the other 17. One just started in a new high school and the other was embarking on her final year. 

Most of the time Rosa resented her parents for making her go to a ”normal” high school, where she was forced to interact through lip reading and a translator but the time she met Amy Santiago wasn't one of them. 

The shy Cuban girl that also was the only student brave enough to talk to Rosa Diaz. What she never saw coming though was that this timid seeming girl was conversing with her in fluent ASL. 

Apparently, hearing loss is running in her family and she has many relatives who ended up deaf. 

They became an inseparable duo and Amy’s penultimate and Rosa’s last year of high school were the best school year they ever had. 

She spots her parents through the windows. They’re here and right now she wished she'd asked Amy to come. She told her and she even offered to join them. She needs Amy.

Rosa feels her anxiety spike. 

She forgot how uncomfortable her family made her feel. With them, she's forced to read lips and be adequate and proper and she hates it. 

With her friends, she can just say that she doesn't know how to or that she sucks at it and she can tell them about girl crushes and they just accept her for who she is. No questions asked. (Most of the time anyway. Amy and Gina are the exceptions to the rule.)

Rosa hugs her parents before letting them sit down. Her dad starts talking and it takes everything in her to focus on what he's saying. ”Mija, how are you?”, her father asks. She holds up her thumb and smiles.

”What do you want to eat?”, he continues asking. She writes it down for him and that's when she realizes that a waiter is taking their order. 

There are so many people around her and sometimes it just fucks with her brain how they all seem to converse in a realm that's inaccessible to her. 

She flinches when she feels a hand on her arm. Apparently, her mom tried asking her something as well. 

”Why are we here, Rosalita?”, she thinks she can make out but with the adrenaline rush and her by the second blurrier getting vision it gets more difficult to make out. 

_”I'm bisexual”_ , she gesticulates really exaggerated, knowing full well that they don't know what she's trying to convey. 

She's so sure of herself yet her parents make her feel so small. She ceases to understand why that is. 

”What?”, both of them inquire. And before she has a chance to repeat herself and explain they start averting their faces and start talking to each other. 

Again she’s left out of another important conversation.

They start motioning wildly, pointing at her without sparing her a glance so she balls her hand into a fist and hits it hard on the table. She feels the cutlery vibrating under her skin and it gives her goosebumps. She shivers.

Finally, they look at her again. She has tears in her eyes and she's almost done with the conversation. 

Rosa's inhaling deeply and pointing to herself and then she's literally spelling it out for them. _”B-I-S-E-X-U-A-L”_.

Her eyes are burning at this point and she barely makes out her mom’s mouth protesting ”No, its just a phase. You're not a gay!” and then Rosa just chuckles bitterly and grabs her phone.

She gets up and leaves the café without turning back around to see their reaction. 

No, she is **not** gay. She is **bisexual**. And she's known it since the 7th grade. And she's known well before that, that her parents wouldn't understand. 

She's upset that they didn't prove her wrong. 

She’s even more upset about the fact that she’s upset because she had expectations.

As she walks she texts Gina that she needs her and that she is going to wait outside of her class when it finishes. 

She hopes that at least that would not turn out to be a wrong decision.

She prays for one right decision in a sea of wrongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight is just to clear up some language things: Rosa “speaks” ASL but she can also read/write English and Spanish, and she _can_ read lips but because she was forced to do it and not really accepted as Deaf by her family she grew to hate it A L O T and now plain refuses to do it except fir when she’s with her family though she still hates it more than most things


	11. when faced with romance your feelings are really just boyled down to idiocy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

She wakes up and she’s alone. The bed is empty and she’s covered in a blanket and all of this is unfamiliar. 

She feels her breath getting quicker and shorter and her heart beating rapidly against her chest. 

As Rosa is sitting up she spots her phone, a pink post-it note attached to it. 

**I’m in the living room** is written in neat letters and she instantly recognizes it as Gina’s handwriting. 

_the confrontation with her parents, meeting Gina, crying, falling asleep_

Rosa presses the home button of her phone and discovers many attempts at contact from her parents. Most of them saying she should come home over the weekend because they have to talk. None of them stating an apology. 

A single message catches her eye:

**G: do u wanna go out 2nite**

She doesn’t know if she wants to go out. ‘Go out as friends? As a date? To cheer her up’. She doesn’t know. 

She doesn’t know much these days in general it seems. 

As she pulls the blanket aside she discovers that someone took of her shoes. She can’t remember if it was Gina or if she did it herself but either way she didn’t sleep with her shoes on. 

Rosa discovers that the sun has already set and it’s dark outside, except for the street lamps and the blinking green light of the bodega across the street. 

Every now and then the room gets illuminated by cars that are passing by and once the room turns blue when an ambulance rushes through the street. 

Rosa feels empty. 

Void. 

People always told her that the best part of coming out to your parents is that you suddenly feel whole again. Like they’re the missing puzzle piece. The key to finally being allowed to be yourself. 

Nobody ever told her you could feel so desolate like you were set on fire or you’ve been eaten alive. Like someone ripped her heart out of her chest.

Before she joins Gina in the living room she makes a detour to the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and cringes at her smudged eye make-up. She cleans herself up and ties her hair into a messy bun. 

She almost runs into Jake after opening the bathroom door. His hand is balled into a fist in mid-air like he was about to knock. 

He looks confused and then his face distorts into something mirroring an apology. Jake turns and leaves into his own room, forgetting about whatever business he was about to take care of. 

She spots Gina on the couch, a movie running on the TV screen while she’s on her phone.

Rosa sits down next to her and Gina doesn’t even look up, just puts an arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer. 

As Rosa looks at the TV screen she discovers that the show Gina has been watching is subtitled. She tries to follow the storyline but isn’t really focused on it. 

She’s more focused on the arm holding her close and Gina’s hair tickling her nose and their heartbeats once again synchronizing. 

Eventually, Gina puts her phone down. She lifts her arm from around Rosa, for the first time really looking at her and wiping some stray tears from the Latina’s cheeks. 

She didn’t even know she was crying. 

Gina softly but hastily kisses the sad girl on the forehead and gets up. She leaves into the kitchen and returns a minute later, two mugs and some paper tissues in her hands. 

As she sits down again, she hands Rosa one of the mugs and the tissues. 

_”Thank you”_ , Rosa motions, her hand covered in tears now.

Gina brought her some freshly brewed tea and Rosa couldn’t be more grateful and aware of how much effort Gina puts into her wellbeing. 

She wants to kiss the red-haired girl so badly right now but she doesn’t know if she should and if she’s allowed to and she also really does not want to ruin this moment they share right now. 

And then they settle back into their original position. Gina with one arm around Rosa’s shoulder, holding her close, both with mugs of steaming herbal tea in their hands. 

They watch the episode in silence and by the time it’s finished Rosa has her head, once again, in Gina’s lap. 

It feels extremely domestic to Rosa and there’s no place she’d rather be right now. 

Or ever.

Suddenly, Gina’s phone is dangling in front of her face, the notes app opened. She takes it off Gina’s hand and reads it. 

**stay in or go out**

**in?** , she hands the phone back to its owner who puts it aside. 

Subconsciously Gina’s hands find themselves in Rosa’s hair. They watch another episode of what Rosa finds out is called _Sex Education_ and then they’re relocating back into Gina’s room because Jake claims the TV for himself. 

She still feels void, empty and abandoned. 

Maybe even hopeless. 

It’s the first night she spends in Gina’s instead of her own bed.

* * *

“So”, Charles starts “what’s up with you and RoRo?”

Gina groans. 

Ever since the day she found Rosa in her college hallway they’ve spent virtually no time apart. Either she’s at Rosa’s or Rosa is at hers when they’re not at work or in class or working on assignments. 

“Come on. TELL! ME! EVERYTHING!”, he exclaims. 

“There’s really nothing to tell you, Charles. We’re taking it light and breezy ever since our New Years kiss.”

Charles feels overcome with anger. He’d love to slap his sister but he can’t bring it himself to do so. He can’t do to her what he did to his best friend. 

“You and Jake are really just two parts of one whole _dumb_ brain, huh?”, Gina looks utterly confused. “Okay, I’m going to spell it out to you as well. _Light and breezy is how you describe a linen pant-suit. Not a relationship you care about._ You both are really just a couple of numb-nuts when it comes to romance!”

For the second time in the span of almost two months, she feels severely called out. 

“Come on, Gina! V-Day is next week!”, he’s so ecstatic about Valentine’s Day, telling her about how he already planned the perfect date for Jake and Amy and how he already wrote his best man speech for their wedding. 

She sighs. “So? What do you expect me to do? March over there and tell her how I feel? We haven’t kissed since New Years. We’ve never even spoken about it -“

“That’s exactly what you’re gonna do! You go over there and tell her how you feel and then you bring some lavender shampoo because shampooing a lovers hair -“

“- No! No shampoo!”, Gina interjects. She wants to gag. 

”Just tell her how you feel, Gina. I can’t see my sister go down like this. In the words of the great Amy Santiago: _screw light and breezy_. You know I’ve been there, right? It was so romantic but not as romantic as sham-“

Screw _this_ , Gina thinks and gets up without saying another word and leaves through the front door of the library. 

Instead of going home as she planned she takes the train to Rosa’s work. It’s getting late already and she should finish her shift in about 40 minutes.

And she's not giving herself time to really think about this. 

But she's doing it anyway.


	12. after tonight your lips will look like blackberries crushed in my palms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

”Why didn’t she think about wrapping herself up more warmly?”, is all that goes around in her head. She’s freezing her butt off and she’s been waiting for 10 minutes already. 

Now that she is waiting and walking in circles she starts thinking about what she’s about to do. 

Was this a wise decision? What is Rosa going to say? Where is she and why isn’t she hurrying up because Gina is _freezing_!

Gina is so deep in thought and so concentrated on not getting too cold that she jumps when someone touches her on her shoulder. She turns around abruptly, ready to punch this someone in the face and run but her wrist gets caught by long and slender fingers she instantly matches to Rosa. 

As she looks her in the face, Rosa is shaking her head and chuckling. _”Dumb-Dumb”_ she motions with her other hand. 

Gina blushes and falls into Rosa’s arms. They stay standing like this for a minute or two and she’s basking in Rosa’s warmth before letting go again. 

When Rosa sees her shivering she shrugs off her leather jacket and hands it to her surprise visitor. 

_“You know you could come in - right?”_ She calls Gina an “idiot” in the most affectionate way a couple more times (because Gina is an idiot. There’s a perfectly working door and warmth and what a cute, gorgeous and absolutely adorable idiot she’s fallen for).

And admittedly, Gina feels like one, too. Of course, she could’ve come in. Why didn’t she think about it? 

She puts the jacket Rosa handed her on, overly aware of the fact that she would never share it with anyone before and immediately feels more calm. It’s still radiating warmth and it fits perfectly. She wants to keep it (but she probably won’t).

And it smells like Rosa, it smells so overwhelmingly like the young and intelligent woman she got to know over the last six months that she could burst into tears right now.

She puts her hands in the pockets briefly and finds a piece of barbed wire, taking it out to inspect it and puts it back in, deciding to leave her hands out of there. 

_”I wanted to ask if you want to get take out?”_ , Gina eventually asks shyly, totally forgetting about her plans to confess her feelings, after Charles teased her about it. 

Rosa nods eagerly. _“I haven’t eaten all day.”_

Gina is stunned. _”You need to eat! It’s important, Ro!”_ , she’s extremely exaggerating the sign for _eat_ but finding out the medical student had been awake since forever and hasn’t even eaten? It makes her worry. 

Rosa smiles slightly and takes Gina’s hand, leading her in the direction of the subway. 

Gina turns crimson and hopes nobody, especially her crush, sees her. Rosa’s hand is warm and soft and their hands fit together perfectly. 

The whole way to the subway their hands are everything she’s able to focus on. 

And then there’s the fact that she forgot rush hour. It’s extremely crowded with people that are desperate to just get home, families with loud children, schoolchildren and dogs. 

She senses how uncomfortable this makes Rosa feel. She assumes it’s because it’s overcrowded and they’re packed like sardines, doesn’t know it’s because Rosa generally gets anxious in social settings involving many people because she sees lips moving and knows any second something important could happen and she could miss it. 

Usually it’s something she’s not aware of or does not even care about but as soon as her anxiety starts picking up she gets aware of everything surrounding her. 

Gina observes the nervous woman cautiously, trying to pick up on signs telling her that something is wrong but Rosa affirms her that _“it’s all okay”_ multiple times. 

As they change into the other train they have to take, Gina spots a still available seat and pulls Rosa over to it. 

_”Sit down”_ , Gina offers but gets declined. She shrugs and gets herself seated while Rosa stands awkwardly in the corridor. 

She has her hands in her jeans pockets because there’s no space to hold on to anyway.

As the train picks up speed Rosa loses her balance for a second but Gina grabs her by the waist and holds her in place. 

She thinks about pulling the younger woman on her lap, and as she decides against it she sees a businessman losing his footing and almost falling into Rosa. 

So now Rosa is sitting in Gina’s lap and her face is crimson. It’s awkward and she doesn’t know where to put her hands, so she lets them hang to the sides. 

Gina feels how uncomfortable Rosa is at first, surprised by Gina’s actions but she relaxes rather quickly into her embrace, two pale arms holding her tight.

By the time they arrive at their stop the wagon cleared out almost entirely. Still, Rosa is sitting in the lap of Gina Linetti, feeling more and more like this is where she’s meant to be. 

She belongs in the arms of Gina Linetti. 

They stop by a cheap Chinese place around the corner of Rosa’s place. When they enter the man behind the register greets her in sign language and Gina can’t help but smile. 

She doesn’t pay attention to what they're saying, just feels exhilarated by the fact that they converse and for the first time in a long time she sees Rosa really engaged and enthusiastic. 

Not that she isn’t when they hang out but this is a completely different version of the usually so restraint person.

“- you want?”

Gina snaps back into reality. 

“What I want?”, she repeats, for the first time realizing she picked up Amy’s habit of signing along to talking. 

The guy on the register nods. 

“I don’t know. Just some sides? I’m sure Rosie ordered half the store anyway!”, Register Guy chuckles and she receives a punch on the arm. 

_”Rude!”_

They fight over who pays, both of them refusing to do half each. In the end, Rosa wins and proudly pays. 

They get their order and offer their thanks before leaving the store again, both of their hands full with bags that are in return filled with boxes and boxes of take out.

Both of them are disappointed they can't hold hands. 

As they arrive at Rosa’s front door she puts her bags into Gina’s arms as well, to fish her keys out of her pocket and open the doors. 

She lets the auburn-haired woman through before closing them again, leading her to the kitchen, where Gina drops off the heavy bags on the table. 

They fill their plates with food, plenty of it still sitting untouched in their respective containers, before making their way into Rosa’s room. 

Both of them sit down on her huge bed, opposite each other and eating without conversing. Rosa facing the door, Gina facing Rosa. 

Every once in a while their eyes meet and they stare a little too long and smile before getting back to the task at hand. 

Rosa finishes her food first, waiting for the other one to do so as well. Then she gets up, taking both their plates and brings them back into the kitchen. 

While Gina waits she changes her position on the bed, now facing the door like the now occupied woman did before, waiting for her to return, like a sick puppy. 

She debates looking through twitter but ultimately decides against it, turning her phone into Flight Mode instead and putting it on the table next to the bed. 

That’s when Rosa returns, signing to herself, looking frustrated. It’s not until the gesturing stops and brown eyes watch her with bewilderment that the words register in her head. 

_”Just tell G you like her.”_

It’s dead silent for a few seconds, neither of them really knowing how to go from here, both of them feeling like deer in headlights. 

Gina takes her phone and types something into the notes app, putting it aside again after she finishes. 

She gets up and goes to stand in front of Rosa, takes her hand cautiously and leads her to the bed again. She sits down, once again pulling the Latina into her lap. 

And then she hands her phone to the younger woman, letting her read through the note. 

**I like u 2, dumb-dumb! Have since we met 4 the 1st time & I thought it was obvious but apparently it wasn’t**

**I like like you, romantic stylez**

When Rosa finishes reading she turns around, a lot of adoration recognizable amidst all the tears threatening to fall. 

Their faces inch closer and closer, both of them able to feel the breath of each other on their skin, heartbeat going haywire. 

And then a door opens loudly, Amy still holding the door handle in her left hand. 

Gina’s head snaps away from Rosa’s face, angrily staring Amy down. 

Rosa’s face turns as well, she’s flushed and she’s asking what Amy wants. They argue back and forth until, _finally_ , Amy closes the door and leaves again. 

They both lay down on the bed, laughing, holding hands between their bodies. 

When their laughter dies down, Gina rolls over and on top of Rosa. They both stare, looking for answers. 

_”Is this okay?”_ , Rosa nods. It’s tiny, afraid to destroy the moment. _”Can I kiss you?”_ , she receives the same answer so she leans down and they kiss. 

It’s careful and soft, just a young woman trying to burn this moment into her memory to never forget the feeling of kissing the one you ~~might possibly~~ love. 

And it’s hands on cheeks, an anchor in the sea of emotions, a reminder that this is actually real. 

They kiss and Gina knows that it’s everything she ever wanted and more.

_”Let me take you out on a second date”_ , Gina states more that she asks the woman laying under her. 

And all Rosa can do is nod before pulling Gina back down to her face, this time kissing her more roughly. 

They spend the night in each other’s arms, both more content with their lives for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m tired and possibly dead ashdsasg, and also if you find any obvious typos lmk!


	13. my heart is still bruised and I don’t know how to make it any better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

**Dad: Mija, please talk to us? We miss you**

She got that text way early on the morning and has yet to respond. The thing is though, she doesn’t know if she wants to respond. If she’s ready to respond. 

She finishes the homework for one of her classes and takes a deep breath. 

**Rosalita: When?**

She receives an answer almost immediately. 

**Dad: tonight at 6? lets meet here: [insert location]**

**Rosalita: _read 1:56 pm_**

She does not know what to do for another four hours. Amy is in class or tutoring some ASL-courses or is off doing whatever with Jake (not like she cares because Rosa Diaz doesn’t care) and Gina is still out recruiting a crew for the shoot that’s supposed to start in two days. 

Her date’s supposed to be in two days as well. 

What if her parents are only there to confront her about her sexuality and will tell her that she’s going to end up with a man when she knows she’s fallen for a woman already? 

What if she can’t deal with their rejection and cuts them out of her live? Just like anyone else? She’s just afraid of the what if’s. 

She decides to do some reading for her classes and starts studying. She gets so lost in it that she almost misses the time. 

5:06 pm. 

She checks her phone and sees a message from Gina. 

**G: u got plans 2nite? <3**

**Ro🖤: Yes. Sorry! See you tomorrow though x**

She doesn’t know if the x is too risky or not, ultimately decides it’ll be just fine and sends the text. 

**G: :(**

When she arrives at the restaurant her father sent the location of and enters it’s a minute past six. 

She feels the anxiety going wild in her stomach. 

Rosa spots her father almost immediately, seated by a window, at distance from the buzzing customers. 

He gets up and hugs her tight and Rosa feels safe and welcome. As he lets go she looks around, searching for a particular someone. 

_”Where is mom?”_

Her father looks guiltily away from her, scratching his neck. 

_”She doesn’t know I’m here, we fought.”_

_”Because of me?”_

He nods. 

_”She has a hard time accepting this.”_

Of course she has. But why is her dad here then? Didn’t he also have a hard time? Although he didn’t really protest as much as her mom did, she supposes.

_”And you?”_

_”I am so sorry, Mijita. For how everything went down. I love you so much and I am so proud of everything you have achieved. And I’ll continue to love you no matter who you might fall in love with.”_

Rosa nods, motioning for him to continue. 

_”Just give your mom some time. She’ll come around. She loves you too. It’s just hard when you never thought about the possibility of your daughter loving another woman instead of a man. It will be okay though.”_

He doesn’t know that. If it will be okay. What if her mom will never come around? 

_”I love you, too”_ , she has some tears in her eyes but hurries to wipe them away. 

_”So, is there someone or -”_

_”Dad, we never talked about it before, there’s no reason to start now!”_ , she interjects, feeling a bit embarrassed because of course there is somebody. 

Not just somebody but Gina Linetti. 

He smiles at her and they order food. They spend the evening together, catching up Diaz-Style (not really conversing because they all enjoy eating they’d respective foods at respective distances and not force conversation), until it’s time for her dad to take her home. 

At least she has Oscar Diaz on her side, she thinks. And with him she’ll be able to conquer the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so her dad has a specific sign for mijita (because it’s a different language and all that)


	14. you taste sweet and salty and you are everything I ever dare dreamed to call mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they’re finally starting to shoot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

“Okay lets get this shit over with”, Gina announces loudly to her crew consisting of two women on camera (and one guy because diversity - she claimed all the good cameras, mind you, and seduced the best camera people into filming for her - please don’t ask her how), some second-best undergrads for booms and two actresses. 

Why she had to have her first day of shooting on Valentines Day of _all the days_ , she doesn’t know. 

Or she does, actually. She didn’t have any plans that day up until a few days ago. 

Because now she _does_ have plans. With one of the very beautiful main actresses, mind you. 

She turns to Rosa. _”You look amazing”_ , she puts emphasis on _amazing_ before turning to answer questions the camera guy has. 

They’re in the park where they first met. Set to shoot the first scene. Gina filmed Rosa walking down the way from behind and it’s the first actual shot they did for her short film. 

One of the camera women is standing beside her, waiting for instructions, one beside Rosa and the guy beside the other main actress. Alicia. 

Alicia is another master student in film and they share their classes almost entirely. Gina never really talked to her but when it came to thinking about who to cast, her mind instantly went over everyone in her class, focusing on Alicia rather quickly, knowing just how talented she is. 

“Alright! Take One!”, she looks at Rosa and nods, “Action!” 

_Camera 1: A young woman is sitting in a park under a tree. She has dark, curly hair and she’s holding a book in her hands. She appears to be reading and listening to music. The wind tangles in her hair._

_Camera 2: Rosa’s view. It’s filmed without sound features. The grass is green and the first lone flowers are sprouting and blossoming._

_Camera 3: Enter Alicia. She is out of breath from running and stops in her tracks when she spots the mysterious woman._

_Camera 2: Feet appear in her line of vision. They’re not moving and it makes Rosa look up._

_Camera 1: Rosa looks up, feeling like she’s being observed and locks eyes with the woman staring at her. Alicia blushes and turns around. She leaves the scene._

_Camera 3: follows behind Alicia, a shot with a lot of movement_

“Okay! CUT!”, Gina shouts. Everyone around her is startled, while Rosa looks completely unfazed. She smirks though, observing everyone flinch. 

Camera 3 jogs behind Alicia back on set. He’s clearly out of breath while the woman didn’t break a sweat. 

“It’s a nice first shot and I’m glad we don’t have to reshoot!” She is signing along to her words. Rosa smiles. 

“Thanks to everyone. I’ll text you later for next week”, they say their goodbyes and then she sees Alicia talking to Rosa. Well, not talking but interchanging a phone back and forth and Rosa chuckles and smiles and _blushes_. 

It sits awfully wrong with Gina. She observes them for another 20 seconds before making her way over to them. 

_”Ready?”_ , she asks Rosa while ignoring Alicia completely. Rosa smirks and raises her eyebrows. 

_”Jealous?”_

Gina feels caught off guard. ~~She never thought she’s such an open book~~ Of course, she is not jealous. Rosa Díaz is not her girlfriend (yet). She is free to flirt with whoever she wants. 

“Okay, so... I’ll go?”, Alicia asks, feeling left out of the conversation and having obvious problems understanding what’s going on. 

“Sounds good. I’ll text you, Alissa. And thank you”, Gina answers without sparing her a glance. 

“Alicia.” She waits for an answer but doesn’t get one. She waves at Rosa and then leaves. 

_”You are SO jealous”_ , Rosa exclaims while trying to not burst out into laughter. 

_”Let’s go to yours so you can change - reservation is at 8”_ , Gina holds out a hand for the younger woman to take and leads them out of the park into the direction of Rosa’s home. 

Suddenly Rosa stops in her tracks. _”It’s only 1 pm though?”_

Gina nods. _”I have got other things planned, too - don’t worry though - everything’s fine ”_

Rosa eyes her suspiciously but then shrugs her shoulders. _”Okay.”_

They take the few steps into the building and inside the apartment. Gina makes a beeline into Rosa’s room and lets herself fall into the desk chair. She spins around a few times before locking eyes with her actress slash date slash potential girlfriend. 

She’s standing in the doorway, hasn’t fully stepped into her own room yet. Her arms are crossed and her eyes are narrowed. It’s like she’s not convinced by whatever game Gina seems to be playing. 

She then sighs and uncrosses her arms. 

_”What are you not telling me, G?”_

_”I - We - Let me text you”_ , she doesn’t know quite how to say what her plans are. 

**G: I wanted 2 film a scene? We don’t need the crew tho. it’s the beginning of the play?**

**G: and also u look hella cute n I can’t wait 4 our d8!!!**

She observes Rosa reading them. She’s biting her lip and a light blush is creeping on her cheeks and she definitely tries not to smile. 

**Ro🖤: what’s your plan? I just wanted to shower and get ready, wasn’t really expecting more shooting but I’m also not surprised.**

**G: can we do it rn? won’t take long babe I promise** , Rosa’s face is turning crimson. 

_Babe._

She inhales deeply. _”Alright, lets get it done”_

Gina jumps up and smiles before hugging Rosa tight. 

They then migrate to the mirror, Gina trying to adjust the light as much as possible. 

_Camera 1: A young woman is standing in front of a mirror, you can see her face in the reflection. She starts brushing her hair and tying it into a high ponytail, examining herself, eventually deciding against it. She reopens her hair and brushes with her fingers through it._

Gina puts the camera to the side and walks closer. She’s standing behind the slightly taller woman and puts her head on her right shoulder, observing both of them in the reflection. 

She puts her right arm around Rosa’s midriff  
Rosa is flushed, not really knowing how to handle all of this while Gina tucks a stray strand of dark hair back behind Rosa’s ear with her free hand. 

Through the mirror, Rosa sees that Gina’s trying to say to go shower. She nods shyly. Gina kisses her on the cheek and settles on Rosa’s bed. 

Rosa gets some clothes out of her closet and turns to leave into the bathroom, turning around shortly but sees that Gina is already occupied with her phone. 

**Gines: 911, FaceTime, now!**

No five seconds later Jake appears on her screen. 

“Hey, girl! How was -“

“Not right now, Jake. I’ll tell you later, okay? I don’t know what I just did, oh my god! I - Rosie and I filmed the first scene just before I texted you and she looked so ethereal and like a goddess and the sunshine was tangling in her hair and her skin was glowing like a halo around her and I don’t know why and what possessed me but I - and then - and I - OH MY GOD JAKE!”

“Gina”, Jake sounds concerned “breathe. What happened? You were filming? And she looked hot? Then what happened?”

“I - I hugged her from behind and put my head on her shoulder? And then I tucked some hair behind her ear? And then I kissed her -“

“YOU KISSED HER?”, another voice chimes in. 

Gina sighs. “Oh great, Charles is there, too?”

Jake nods apologetically. “Big time.”

“Okay, but you kissed her?”, Charles inquires. 

“On the cheek, Charles. I kissed her on the cheek. And now she’s showering because we’re going on a date later.”

Charles and Jake both look surprised but happy. There’s so much adoration swimming in Charles’ eyes she can’t even look at him. 

“On Valentine’s Day? - It’s so romantic! - What are you going to do? - ”, they both ask, their questions overlapping. 

That’s when Gina hears the door opening. “She’s back, guys. TTYL!”

The second she hangs up she instantly gets 64 messages from Charles, ranging from “tell me everything” to “shampoo her hair”. 

She groans and switches her phone to ‘Do Not Disturb’, and then puts it aside. 

Gina feels the mattress dip and sees a body beside her. She looks up and air gets caught in her lungs.

 _”Stunning”_ , is all her brain is able to produce. 

Rosa is wearing dark jeans and a dark red shirt, her hair still slightly wet, dripping onto her clothing. 

_“We don’t need to go right now - right?”_ , Rosa asks, looking clearly exhausted. Without make up she looks even younger and there’s a slight sadness in her eyes Gina can’t decipher. 

_”All good?”_ , she asks and Rosa nods halfheartedly. 

_“Can I sleep for like 1 hour or 2?”_

Gina nods and smiles. ‘Rosa is so cute’, she thinks. 

_”Of course. Come here”_ , she opens her right arm and Rosa lets herself get comfortable in Gina’s embrace, both of them laying down, Rosa’s head on Gina’s shoulder. 

Gina softly brushes through Rosa’s hair with her fingers and Rosa is asleep not two minutes later. 

Gina grabs her phone, another 97 messages from Boyle and opens the camera on it. She takes some selfies of the both of them before closing the app and opening her notes app. She starts writing and gets lost in it. 

About an hour and a half after Rosa fell asleep, Gina wakes her up. She kisses her on the side of her forehead, her thumb tracing over her cheek until she’s stirring. Then she lightly shakes her. 

Heavy eyes barely open and sneak a glance at Gina. She shakes her head but a hand is already holding a phone in front of her face. 

**good morning sleeping beauty, gotta get up bc plans!**

Rosa puts the phone down and shakes her head. She feels like crying, not knowing why because she barely ever sheds tears over nothing. She hides her face in Gina’s side. 

She feels long fingers going through her hair and slightly scratching her scalp, a hand holding her tight. She feels her own heartbeat and Gina’s and she chokes down a sob. 

She just misses her mom. Before her talk with her dad two days ago she didn’t feel like she really needed them. She always had to rely on herself more than on her parents so “whatever”, she thought. It’s not like she ever needed them before. 

Except that she realized that she does need them. Since she’s been getting closer to Gina all her feelings have intensified so much and lately, she’s been catching herself just wanting to talk to her mom. 

Gina twists her body to hold her tighter, Rosa burying her face in all of Gina now. 

‘Why is she crying?’, she questions herself ‘it’s Valentine’s Day for God’s sake!’, she sits up, wiping the tears from her face. 

_”Tell anyone and you’re dead”_ , she threatens weakly. _”I’ll get ready, give me 15 minutes.”_

Gina lets her gaze linger longer than necessary. These moments remind her that Rosa Diaz still is a riddle to her. It’s one she’s not really equipped to solve. 

When Rosa returns she’s wearing her boots and leather jacket. Her hair is brushed and she put on some light makeup. 

_”I’m ready”_ , she announces, after she gets Gina’s attention. 

As soon as Gina puts her outerwear on as well, they leave. 

It's 4:30 pm by now and Gina pulls Rosa haphazardly along the sidewalk, trying to be on time for the first part of their date. 

She stops about 12 minutes later in front of a small cinema. 

_”A movie?”_ , Rosa asks with very suspicious eyes and high raised eyebrows. 

_”Don’t worry”_ , Gina tells her. She then buys two tickets and leads Rosa into the lobby to the end of another queue. 

Eventually, it’s their turn and Gina gets sweet and salty popcorn and two drinks. She pays, handing one drink to Rosa so she can grab her hand and guides them into the room where their movie is being played. 

They find good seats in the middle and sit down. Gina hands Rosa the popcorn but Rosa is still wary of the situation. 

_”You know that I won’t be able to understand anything, right?”_ , Rosa eventually asks. She’s been thinking about this a lot the past minutes and how to break the news to Gina. 

Gina answers _”Don’t worry”_ , right as the film starts. 

To Rosa’s surprise, she discovers that it’s subtitled. And if she wasn’t sure that Gina is the one, she knows now. 

She watches the movie and is spellbound. At one point she grabs Gina’s hand because she doesn’t know what to do with all the anticipation and emotions she’s feeling. 

Gina, on the other hand, had watched this film last week already and is glancing at Rosa every now and then. How she reacts and how happy she seems compared to earlier that day and how focused she is on the movie. 

When Rosa grabs her hand her heartbeat quickens and she gets hot and blushes and looks at their hands for several minutes, anticipating it pulling away. But it never does. 

By the time the movie ends and the credits roll, Rosa turns to Gina and grins. 

_”Thank you.”_

They get up and they’re still holding hands, slowly making their way to the exit. It’s still relatively light outside so they decide to go for a walk. 

_”Do you feel better?”_ , Gina asks. It takes her a lot of courage, surprisingly. She’s never this unsure of herself. It’s only around Rosa that she feels insecure. 

_”Can we not talk about it?”_ , Rosa begs and Gina agrees. 

They’re sitting on a park bench, it’s eerily quiet around them, and the sun has set. They’re illuminated by a street lamp and Gina looks at Rosa’s features closely. 

She can’t tear her eyes away, her gaze switching between Rosa’s eyes and lips and lips and eyes. 

_”Just kiss me, idiot”_ , Rosa exclaims and not a second later their lips collide. It’s hungry and needy and Gina can taste the popcorn on her lips and the soda Rosa drank no 30 minutes ago. 

They kiss and kiss and kiss. Drowning in each other. 

At times it’s rough and needy, and at others it’s sweet and soft. They’re barely breaking apart for oxygen, too consumed in each other. 

They miss their reservation, opting to get tacos from a truck in a parking lot on their way to Gina’s, eating their food on the way, holding hands and laughing like young girls fallen in love for the first time. 

When they arrive at Gina’s place, they ignore Jake and Charles in the living room, already kissing again and disappearing into Gina’s room. 

‘Maybe’, Rosa lets herself think, ‘maybe everything will be okay.’ And she can’t wait to introduce Gina to her dad. 

(Little does she know that Gina plans on introducing her to her mom as well.)


	15. my heart Dies Hard every time i look at you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

A week after their first filming, and coincidentally the evening after their second filming session Gina finds herself and Rosa in her home again. 

It’s strange, Gina thinks, how used she has gotten to this already. How Rosa is always around, each doing their own thing but falling asleep in the same bed. 

How she, for example, is cooking in her kitchen, Rosa at the table doing homework and how it feels so right. 

Because it feels like this is their future. 

Rosa comes in the kitchen, hugging Gina from behind, her head resting on Gina’s shoulder, inspecting the food. It’s nothing special she’s cooking, just roasted potato and vegetables (no meat because she knows Rosa isn’t a fan) and a sauce. 

_”Looks delicious”_ , Rosa signs over her shoulder, _”smells even better.”_

Gina blushes and stirs the sauce in the pan before turning around. She’s looking into brown eyes, so full of emotions Gina can’t properly make out and before she catches what she’s doing she’s already asked. 

_”Will you be my girlfriend?”_

Rosa looks taken aback, squints her eyes and through gestures and murmuring tries to decipher the situation. 

_”Hey”_ , Gina waves a hand in front of her face, _”it’s totally okay if you’re not ready.”_

_”Obviously Y-E-S - you idiot!_ , the younger woman exclaims, a huge smile settling on her face. _”I actually wanted to ask you after dinner”_ , Rosa holds onto her own arm and looks shy. 

_”That -“_ , she laughs and gives Rosa a kiss before turning her full attention back to the food. 

“I love you”, she murmurs, knowing full well Rosa won’t hear her. 

When the food is finished cooking, Gina splits it equally on their plates, leaving a generous amount on a third plate for Jake. 

She places the plates on the table, sneaking a kiss from Rosa and then they eat. 

They never really spoke much through dinner because of having their hands full and mouths full and being generally occupied, and this evening is no different. Though they look up and smile at each other every once in a while. 

After they finish up their food Rosa take the empty plates into the kitchen to clean them, while Gina gets to working on going through the raw material she got of the scenes they did today. 

There’s one moment that captivates her and she replays it multiple times, before halting it at the right millisecond. 

It’s Rosa, sitting on a park bench sketching and it looks ethereal. The young woman so spellbinding and such a goddess that she takes a picture of the still, making a mental remark to print it out at a later time. 

Suddenly, there are arms slinging around her shoulders again, a chin resting on auburn colored hair, two pairs of eyes fixated on the scene running on the display. 

_”What are you doing?”_ , Rosa asks and Gina explains it to her. They end watching the beginning of the short film and what Gina already cut together and Rosa just stares. 

_”You are made for this”_ , is the conclusion she comes to eventually. Because her girlfriend (can you believe) is made for this! Her movements are natural and graceful, much like she could have been a ballet dancer in another lifetime. 

_”_ You _are just a brilliant actress”_ , Gina counters in a heartbeat. _”If it works out great I want to do a screening - your parents are invited of course”_ , after a pause and lot of consideration she adds _”of course only if you want to._

She would understand if Rosa isn’t ready to ask them yet, not knowing exactly the status of their relationship at the moment. She understands that this would be a big step and that the themes displayed might not all appease to them. She just wants her girlfriend (HER GIRLFRIEND) to know that she will be okay with whatever way she chooses. 

As Rosa gives Gina a chaste kiss, not being able to convey all her emotions otherwise, Jake enters through the front door. 

“Gines! It’s _Die-Hard_ -Night! Are you - oh.” 

Gina has to laugh at his reaction and Rosa looks confused before turning around. _”J! What’s up?”_ , she smiles while acting casual. 

_”You - and Gina - Kissing? - And I - and you both-“_ , he’s still flabbergasted. And then he is grinning. 

Charles and Amy owe him money! He knew that he knew his best friend the best! Which okay, he’s aware is a complicated statement but it’s just the facts! 

Gina is rolling her eyes. _”Die-Hard-Night”_ , she updates Rosa on what he previously announced. 

“Never seen it”, she shrugs. 

Jake blinks like she just announced that actually, she isn’t deaf and just played them all for some fun without Amy. _”What?!”_ , he exclaims loudly. Backing his signs with verbal words. ”You gonsta have to watch it! Next she’s gon tell me she’s never seen The Turtles!” 

Gina inhales deeply, already adjusted to his obsession and lowkey freakouts when he encounters someone who hasn’t watched it yet. _”Let’s just watch it. He won’t shut up otherwise.”_

Rosa agrees reluctantly. 

“There’s food in the kitchen for you, J. We’ll wait in the living room for you”, she tells him before grabbing Rosa’s wrist and leading her into the living room, sitting down and pulling her girlfriend on her lap. Her arms are wrapped around Rosa’s midriff and all she can think is _this is right_. 

Rosa ends up falling asleep no 8 minutes into the movie, leaving Jake with the note that she prefers Nancy Meyers’ work. 


	16. the sky is burning up like my love for you has set my heart aflame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

It’s supposed to be one of the first warm days of the year so Gina decides to continue filming. It’s Friday morning so she contacts her crew, agreeing to meet at her front door around 4 pm. 

She’s still laying in bed and puts her phone to the side, then turns back to her other side, slinging her arm around the other body in her bed and pulling it closer again. 

She kisses her girlfriend’s neck softly, waiting for her eyes to open.

Rosa turns around and smiles lazily. 

_”Good morning”_ , she signs before their lips are meeting in a kiss. 

Gina strokes some stray locks out of Rosa’s face, her thumb grazing Rosa’s cheek. _”We’re filming later - at 4 - that okay for you?_

Rosa nods. _”How late is it?”_

_”Around 9 - I have class at 11”_

Rosa sighs. _”Can we sleep more?”_ , she asks while her eyes fall shut. Gina chuckles. One more hour of sleep can’t hurt, she supposes. 

It seems she can’t fall asleep again though. She looks down at her girlfriend and studies her face. Her skin is soft and she wants to trace every feature with her finger. 

Eventually, she kisses Rosa’s scar across her eyebrow and gets up. She puts the blanket over Rosa’s body again and then leaves the room. 

She has to prepare for her class slash colloquium, where she has to update her class, professor and advisor on her film. 

Before she realizes it’s 10:30 am and she has to get ready to go. She sneaks back into her room, Rosa still sleeping soundly, gets dressed and leaves a note for the younger woman. 

Her class goes astonishingly well, her advisor basically as much in love with the film as she is herself. 

She returns back home around 1:30 pm, finding Rosa in the living room on the couch. She’s watching a movie, wrapped in a blanket. 

She did her makeup and hair, dark lipstick and space buns, and she’s already dressed.

Gina sits down next to her and gives her a kiss. _”Hey babe - you good?”_

_”I’m happy you’re back! How was class?”_

_”Perfect! They love the video and that makes me happy! Also happy we’re finishing up today.”_

_”But - we only filmed for 4 days then - is that enough?”_ , granted, Rosa has no experience with doing films or anything remotely related, but four days seems like not enough. 

_”You and Alicia are great actresses and the crew also did well. I have enough material than I needed already to cut everything together and make it at least eight minutes long.”_ , Gina loves how genuinely worried Rosa seems but they have enough material already, she just wants some extra scenes. 

Rosa thinks about Gina’s words, then inhales deeply. _”Alright - I just don’t want you to fail.”_

It’s these moments Gina wants to tell her that she loves her. Badly. There is so much love and adoration in her body that she sometimes forgets how to breathe. It’s like her brain just stops working and with every heartbeat, the only thing she can think is _‘I love you’ ‘I love you’ ‘I love you’._

Especially when she’s so considerate. But also when she’s muttering and signing to herself, when she raises one eyebrow to look at her like “seriously” or when she laughs. 

Oh my God, when she laughs Gina sees their future together right in front of her eyes. 

_Them living together in a house or apartment, everything is lit and white and they have a bunch of plants and a dog (she always wanted a dog). They have a room with a projector. They’re happy._

Rosa waves a hand in front of Gina’s face. _”You good? - You spaced out there for a minute or so.”_

Gina nods and smiles, giving her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

They then refocus their attention to the movie running on the screen until the doorbell rings. Gina is startled and Rosa looks at her questioningly. 

_”Doorbell”_ , she explains shortly while getting up to open the door. On her way, she checks the time on her phone. 

3:56 pm. 

She discovers that the whole crew is standing on the other side. 

”Ready to film?”, one of the camera women asks her. Gina nods.

”Let’s get it over with.”

She waves at Rosa, signaling to come to the door.

She, too, greets everyone and gets ready. 

“Okay”, Gina starts while signing along, “this is how I imagine it: Two cameras. One filming from the front, one from the back. The third one films surroundings. Nature shots. Whatever you deem has potential. Ready? Action!”

_Camera 1: Two young women are shown from behind. They’re walking and holding hands. One is observing the other until she’s caught. both avert their heads. They keep walking._

_Camera 2: The two women are shown from the front. Rosa is on the left, Alicia on the right. The camera captures the sunlight breaking through behind the two actresses. They’re holding hands, slightly swinging back and forth. Alicia is looking at Rosa until Rosa locks eyes with her. Alicia blushes and they both turn their eyes back to the front. They’re both smiling and walking down the street, still holding hands._

_Camera 3: the sun over the roofs of the city - the starting sunset turning the sky pink and rose and lilac and orange - light breaking through the crowns of trees - birds in said trees_

As Gina reviews the material that evening, after escorting Rosa to her home, she immediately gets to compiling the complete and missing footage she wants in her movie, editing the particular parts of the couple they filmed that day. She slows the footage down and rewinds it to watch it again. 

She’s planning on putting the two shots on the screen parallelly, cutting to the nature footage every now and then. 

When Jake comes home she shows it to him and even he is baffled. 

“It’s your best work yet, G! I can’t wait to see the whole piece and rewatch it. I’m in love with this.”

Absentmindedly she replies “I’m in love with her.”

“I know”, he says softly, putting a hand on her back. 

When he goes to bed she’s working on matching up the two scenes to the millisecond. 

She gets to work on balancing out the filters and speed of the Camera 3 footage around 4:23 am. Without paying much attention she stops the scene that’s currently running to get some water. 

When she returns, she gasps. 

The sunset is displayed on her computer and it looks like the sky is aflame and just like it was the missing piece of a puzzle she didn’t know she needed to solve, she writes down the title of her movie. 

**“you got some sh*t to say (i’m here to listen)”**


	17. messy lives colliding make everything even messier I guess?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa’s meeting Gina’s mom!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for a hot second I forgot that doorbells are a thing (as you might see in earlier chapters)
> 
> * * *
> 
> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Gina has been standing at Rosa’s front door for the past century. In reality, it must have been two to three minutes max. 

It’s Saturday, late afternoon, and she knows, she just _knows_ , Rosa has the weekend off. 

But nobody is opening up and she's getting annoyed. She knocks again, louder this time until realization smacks her right in the face. 

She's been knocking. 

_Knocking._

She gets red with embarrassment and rings the doorbell. And then someone is opening the door. 

_”Why so red?”_ , Rosa asks as soon as they’re face to face but Gina can’t let her know how stupid and inconsiderate and dumb she feels right now. 

_”It’s hot outside”_ , she answers after thinking for a few seconds. 

_”Its March”_ , Rosa counters. She looks genuinely confused now. 

_”Exactly!”_ , she puts extra emphasis into her exclamation. 

Rosa looks dumbfounded now, trying to work through their conversation step by step, slowly signing to herself, while Gina steps into her apartment and settles herself into her couch. 

Maybe Gina used the wrong vocabulary or hit her head. Maybe it’s just Gina being Gina. 

After giving it more thought she concludes it’s the latter and lets the issue go. 

Gina is so surprising most of the time that Rosa should have gotten used to her strange behavior by now. 

Like, how she produced some paper and pens from god knows where will forever be a mystery to her. 

She shrugs it off and lets herself down beside the film student. 

**I want you to meet my mom** is written across the page in bold letters. 

Rosa doesn’t know how to react. 

_Meet her mom._

**dw, it’s like a gathering? idrk details but J is gon be there? obv u don’t have 2**

Still, it’s like Rosa is in shock. 

_Meet her mom._

Gina carefully puts a hand on her shoulder. When Rosa turns her head, she looks her in the eyes, trying to find an explanation for her hesitation. 

_”You don’t have to - you know that - right?”_ , she offers an out to her. 

Rosa closes her eyes and inhales deeply through her nose, pursing her lips then exhaling. It takes another few seconds before she reopens her eyes and locks them with Gina’s. 

She nods. _”Okay.”_

This makes Gina smile brightly. _”Great! I will let her know.”_

She puts an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder and pulls her closer, Rosa leaning her head on her shoulder, a hand already in her hair. 

_”Wait. When?”_ , Rosa suddenly realizes they never talked about a date. 

Gina scratches her neck. _”That’s the thing - tomorrow.”_

Rosa freezes and Gina can feel her whole body tense up in her arms. With one hand she grabs Rosa’s chin softly and turns it so they see eye to eye. 

_”I did not know either until like 1 hour ago - Rosie - You don’t have to go.”_

_”No - it’s fine”_ , she leans her head back staring at the ceiling. _”It’s fine.”_

Truth is she’s not prepared. They haven’t been girlfriends for too long and she doesn’t know what Gina’s mom knows about their relationship and Rosa in general (read: the Deafness) and who will be there and what the situation will be and if her mom will like her and just everything really. 

Rosa is so deep in thought she doesn’t realize that Gina turned on the TV and is holding her close. 

Gina on the other hand still feels how tense the woman in her arms is. She files Rosa’s behavior in ‘I don’t know how to bring this up/talk about this’, opting to let her process everything in her own time. 

They fall asleep on the couch, waking up in the middle of the night and migrating to Rosa’s room. 

By the time Rosa wakes up, it’s 11 am. They never talked about a specific time and she knows the sleeping woman beside her well enough to know that she does things in her own time. 

So she lets her sleep some more, studying her features closely. 

Skin that is soft and light. Hair that is reddish-brown, perfect, lush. Lips that are full and red. So kissable. Eyes that are greenish-blue, studying how they’re being studied. 

_”Good morning Sunshine- what’s the time?”_

_”11”_ , she lets Gina know, who groans in return. 

_”We should get ready - we are supposed to be there in an hour - no need to hurry though”_ , she pulls Rosa back into her arms, and Rosa can feel Gina’s breath on her skin. 

They stay like this for a while, both drifting between the real world and the dream world. 

Until Gina inhales deeply and gets up. She leaves into the bathroom, brushing her teeth with the spare toothbrush she keeps at Rosa’s and then brushing her hair. 

When she returns, Rosa is still laying in bed. Her face is hidden in the covers. 

Gina steps closer and lifting the blanket, making contact with dark, bloodshot eyes. Rosa sniffles, turning around. Gina gets under the covers as well, hugging her girlfriend from behind. She pushes dark locks out of Rosa’s face and kisses her on the neck. 

It takes some minutes until Rosa turns around and faces her. Tears are covering her face and it kills her to see the tough woman so broken. 

_”I miss my mom”_ , Rosa eventually confesses before Gina pulls her close again. She hides her face in Gina’s upper body, reveling in her warmth and security. 

Then she gets up as well, disappearing into the same bathroom to get ready. 

**Jakester: where r u? ur mom is asking**

**Gines: don’t stress! we r on our way**

**Jakester: could mean anything between 2 mins and anything >2 mins**, she knows he’s rolling his eyes right now and has to chuckle. 

**Gines: be there soon! xxx**

It’s when she sent this text to Jake that Rosa returns. Wearing her signature leather jacket and the shirt Gina forgot whilst staying over the other night. 

It puts a smile on her face. 

_”Ready?”_ , she asks Rosa with raised eyebrows who nods in return. She looks sad and exhausted and these looks hurt Gina in her chest. 

_”Good”_ , Gina nods, _”Lets go!”_ , she gets up while clapping her hands once. 

They take the subway and stand in front of Gina’s mothers’ door around 40 minutes later. 

Gina unlocks the door and announces their arrival loudly, holding hands with Rosa, letting themselves inside and kicking the door closed with one foot. 

Then they round the corner and discover several people in the living room. Way more people than either of them anticipated. 

First, there’s Gina’s mom. Darlene Linetti. She’s the biggest fan of her daughter and the proudest mother in all of New York. 

Second, there is Jake’s mother. Karen Peralta. Overeager and, with the best intentions, willing to learn. Just sometimes missing the mark. 

Thirdly, Camila and Victor Santiago. They seem to be in conversation with Amy, stopping when Victor makes eye contact with Rosa. 

He smiles and gets up. He hugs Rosa, converses with her and Camila is standing beside him rather quickly. 

Then they both introduce themselves to Gina as Amy’s parents. Gina smiles brightly. 

And lastly, there are Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago. Seeing Amy calms Rosa down significantly. 

After the Santiago’s sit down again, Gina and Rosa say hello to Jake and Amy. 

“Took you long enough, Gines”, is the first thing Jake greets her with. He seems to be nervous, like he didn’t expect Amy’s parents either. 

“I’m here now”, she rolls her eyes. 

They’re sitting on one of three couches, while their parents share the biggest one between the other two. 

Gina and Rosa sit down opposite of Amy and Jake. 

_”Darling, who is that?”_ , she catches Amy interpret for her. And she’s so so thankful, smiling at her. 

_”This is Rosa. My girlfriend”_ , Amy looks caught off guard for a second, looks at Rosa with high raised eyebrows, _”Girlfriend?_ , she mouthes along surprised. 

Rosa nods and smiles. _”Girlfriend.”_

 _”Hello Rosa. I’m D-A-R-L-E-N-E - Wait”_ , Amy holds up a finger and locks eyes with Darlene. They talk but Amy signs while conversing with her. 

The Santiago’s meanwhile are occupied with questioning Jake. 

_”What are you doing with your hands?”_ , Darlene asks. Amy smiles brightly. _”I am translating. Rosa is Deaf. She can’t hear you.”_

Both their mothers look caught off guard and turn their heads to Rosa. 

_”Nice to meet you”_ , she smiles politely. She feels uncomfortable. She’s been in these situations hundreds of times, yet each time it seems to get worse than before. 

This time Gina translates. 

Darlene and Karen don’t know what to do. They look to Gina and Rosa and then Jake and Amy, searching for answers, all starting to talk over each other. 

That’s when Camila also chimes in. And that makes Victor get involved, too. 

Gina heard him tell Amy to “keep an eye on Rosa” and in the same moment Rosa grabs Gina’s shoulder, trying to get her attention. Her head turns and looks at the obviously frightened woman. 

Then she turns her head away again and then everyone’s looking at her. Talking to her. 

Amy can’t keep up with the translating, neither can Camila, who knows Rosa well enough to recognize what exactly is wrong. 

Jake and Victor are trying to calm Gina’s and Jake’s excited mothers down, knowing full well that’s just how they are and that they are just ready to learn, but they don’t react to their loud talking. 

Rosa’s heart rate picks up and she feels herself choking on air. It’s too many mouths and eyes, and she feels like a caged animal. 

The last time she felt this anxious, apart from coming out to her parents, was when she met her ex-boyfriend Adrian’s crazy family. 

Her eyes are searching frantically for an exit and her sight gets blurry again. It’s too much, she doesn’t know what’s going on and it freaks her out. Her hands are feeling numb and her eyes are burning. 

Do they think she’s a freak? Or not good enough for Gina? Or dumb because she’s deaf? Because she’s not. It kills her that she can’t understand what’s going on! She is spiraling again, barely registering a hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her away from the frantic crowd. 

Suddenly the light gets very bright and as she wipes the stray tears from her cheeks she realizes that she’s in a bathroom. Amy is kneeling in front of her. She barely registers Gina sitting on the edge of the bathtub. 

_”You okay?”_ , Amy asks. Rosa shakes her head which makes Gina gasp. Never before did she admit she’s not doing good, only through closeness, but she never explicitly stated it before. 

_”Just breathe - it will be okay - anxiety attacks don't last forever”_ , Amy hugs Rosa tight. 

Gina looks at two women clinging to each other as if their lives depend on it. The younger one holds the slightly older one close, one hand in hair and one hand rubbing down an arm comfortably. 

She sees Rosa relaxing and asking Amy questions over questions. Amy shakes her head ‘no’ to most of them. 

Then there are knocks on the door. Gina gets up and opens it, discovering Jake and Camila on the other side. 

Camila steps into the room while Jake pulls Gina out.

“Mrs. Santiago explained what happened. Apparently it happened often back then. Let her take care and let’s go back to the living room, okay?”, he explains. Gina nods, so he takes her hand and leads her back. 

“ - so that’s why she has anxiety problems still in big settings”, Victor finishes his explanation to Darlene and Karen. They nod in understanding. 

“This explains a lot”, Karen agrees. Jake and Gina already know that as soon as everyone leaves she will seek out ASL classes or (and God forbid) ask her lesbian neighbors if they know any deaf people. 

Both their moms interrogate Victor, learning how to say “Nice to meet you” and ask so many more questions before Amy and Camila return with Rosa. 

Camila has Rosa still in her arms, leading her back into the room, Amy walking a few steps in front of both of them. 

Amy sits down next to Jake again while Rosa sits down back next to Gina, who is putting an arm around her immediately and almost instinctively. 

After that incident the whole situation is far calmer, everyone taking turns to talk and Amy translating. They eat lunch and Rosa feels way more at peace after having some time to catch up with Camila. 

They decide to leave around 5 pm, Karen and Darlene hugging Gina and Rosa, telling her what Victor taught them, making Rosa smile brightly. 

Jake decides to stay to help clean up, saying he’ll be back later that night. 

When the door closes and they stand in front of the Santiago’s car, Amy’s parents hug them as well and Rosa thanks them multiple times. They then enter the car. As Amy is about to enter the car as well, Rosa grabs her arm with a questioning look. 

_”I’ll be back tomorrow night - love you”_ , she tells Rosa before turning to Gina. “Take care of her.”

Gina agrees because of course she is going to take care of her girlfriend. 

On their way home Rosa apologizes to Gina every now and then and every time Gina tells her that everything is alright and she doesn’t have to worry. 

_”Do you want to be alone tonight or stay over?”_ , Gina asks her when they exit the subway. 

_”Stay with you but I need my work clothes.”_

After picking up Rosa’s things they go to Gina’s, Rosa falling asleep almost immediately after changing and getting ready to bed. 

They kiss before Rosa passes out in Gina’s arms.


	18. a title? in this economy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might change the title if I can think of something fitting... until then: Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

She hates everything about this and she has been since she can remember. 

High school _sucks_ for Rosa Diaz. She’s surrounded by hundreds of idiots who think that she’s the one true idiot. Hundreds of mouths talking thousands of words a day. Hundreds and thousands of words she’ll never be able to understand. 

So of course she’s an outsider. Not that it matters because she prefers being alone. And she makes it clear. 

She prefers being feared by the student body. She carries knives in various pockets, wears all black and starts wearing a leather jacket well into her second year. 

She prefers it over crowds of people, where everything just blurs together and she can’t keep up and her anxiety is picking up majorly. 

She remembers being alone for at least three of her high school years and one day into her senior year she suddenly wasn’t anymore. 

That’s the day she met Amy Santiago. 

Amy, the only person in this entire school brave enough to approach the _scary Deaf girl_. And then use ASL for everyone to see. 

She doesn’t remember quite how they became friends but she likes Amy’s presence. Suddenly she didn’t hate everything about all of this anymore. 

They’re spending their breaks together and one day Rosa Diaz finds herself in front of Amy Santiago’s front door. 

_”It will be alright - Rosa - breathe”_ , Amy instructs, recognizing the impending panic in her eyes. 

When she meets Camila Santiago the anxiety suddenly washes away. As it turns out the whole family speaks ASL. 

Camila Santiago is everything Rosa ever wished for in a mother. She is caring and understanding, willing to listen and includes her in conversations. 

Victor Santiago she gets along with surprisingly well as well. He encourages her to go to the college she wants to, not the one her parents chose for her. He encourages her to do what _she_ wants to do. 

Rosa finds herself spending more time at the Santiago’s than at her own home, where no one takes enough time to listen to her. Where she feels like an outcast. 

At Amy’s house she feels like she belongs. For once in her life she discovers what this feeling is truly meant to be and she doesn’t want to lose it. 

Camila and Victor Santiago are the first persons beside Amy she comes out to. 

She tells them after dinner

 _”I am bisexual”_ , afraid they’ll reject her nonetheless. 

They hug her, tell her how proud they are for telling them before Victor drives her to her parents. She stopped calling it home because Amy’s dad is taking her from it right now. 

_”Please don’t tell them”_ , she asks of him before dropping her off. He nods. 

_”Of course not, Mija.”_

She gets out of the car. 

Rosa’s parents don’t care too much about where she is all day, knowing she’s fully capable of taking care of herself. 

When Rosa gets her acceptance letter from NYU, confirming her spot on a full scholar ship, she tells Amy first. They’re both very excited, planning on moving in together as soon as Amy starts her second year of college in New York City as well. 

She tells Amy’s parents second. They, too, can’t contain their excitement for her, hugging her and telling her how proud they are of her. 

Lastly she tells her parents. She comes home early for dinner a few days after receiving the letter and hands it to them before they eat. 

They’re enraged at first, to this moment thinking she’s enrolled in the community college in their city. But she hasn’t. 

“How are we supposed to pay for it?”, they ask. She points to the words **full scholarship**. 

They don’t ask what she’s studying, don’t care she goes for medicine and business. As long as they don’t have to pay. 

So when she moves out after graduating it’s not her parents that help her move, in their mind fully convinced that she won’t last long anyway. 

It’s Amy’s parents that help her move. And she actually sheds a tear (or twenty) when they have to leave back to New Jersey the same night. 

Eventually her parents realize that their daughter won’t return, will graduate from NYU and they contact her, after not hearing from her for six months. 

They meet on the regular for lunch or dinner once a month from there on out. 

She sees Amy and her parents almost every other weekend. 

In her second year she finds the perfect apartment, rent controlled, and moves in. 

In her third year Amy also moves in. And introduces her to Gina Linetti who _”has a full on crush on you - Rosa - she told you she liked your boots! Can you believe?”_

Gina Linetti. A woman she will call her girlfriend 6 months later.


	19. Sunshine and pancakes and everything sweet, the only thing sweeter is you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

As the finals approach, Gina and Rosa seem to not find enough time for each other. It’s like the last semester repeating itself again, except that they’re now also dating. 

It’s a Thursday night and Gina is sitting in her bed, laptop in front of her, as she’s wildly typing. Rosa, with her own laptop, is sitting next to her, both focused on getting their work done so they can spend some time without school distracting them. 

Gina is working on cutting the scenes of her film together after going through her previous work and deciding to scrap the whole thing and start from zero. 

(She has several scenes she has no use for her film, stored in an extra folder. Gina doesn’t know what to do with them yet.)

Now she’s back on the first scene. It’s Rosa’s character standing in front of the mirror and getting ready. As the first scene fades out the title card fades in. In bold white letters on black, it reads **you got some sh*t to say (i’m here to listen)**

The next scene fades in and it’s bright and sunny, an early afternoon. The protagonist is followed from behind, headphones hanging from her neck. 

Gina adjusts the light of the shot, turns it brighter than it actually is. It looks like springtime. As she looks at the screen it’s like she’s able to inhale the seemingly fresh air and feel it on her skin. 

She remembers the slight wind turning her skin into Braille and she remembers how Jake told her that it’s Nature’s way of telling its stories. She always loved how most of the times he was (and still is) this naive young boy with an unconditional love for _Die Hard_ but how sometimes the most profound things come out of his mouth. 

She really loves him so much. Gina scribbles some illegible notes on the paper strewn about that are supposed to say “tell him how much he means to you”. 

Lost in thought she doesn’t realize that the movie reached its end and automatically replayed already. She likes having her settings on loop so she can rewatch it multiple times without doing the actual work of rewinding. 

It’s a young woman getting ready, title card, the young woman walking down the street. And again. And again. 

And again.

She adds the scenes from their first shot with Alice, or whatever her name is, and rewatches the whole thing again. 

Getting ready, title card, walking, a shot of Rosa sitting under a tree, reading a book when a pair of feet appear on the left corner of the screen - the camera is moving upwards until it captures Alicia's face, she’s out of breath - a shot where both of them are in the picture, staring at each other, Alicia blushing and Rosa turning her attention back to her book, A. running away, the camera following her

She loves it. She loves her genius brain and her abilities and this and her. She loves Rosa Diaz so much. It’s driving her insane that she’s not able to explicitly state it. That she’s just staring at her thinking “I love you” but is not able to say it out loud. 

Next, she cuts Alicia meeting Amy. It took a lot of convincing from Amy’s side to be in Gina’s movie (though Gina would never admit that she wanted Amy for exactly this part). 

Movie version Alicia knows Amy from a class, which is established through dialogue, the only time sound is used in the whole movie and they’re working on some homework together when Alicia discovers that the stranger from the park lives with Amy. 

Much like in real life Rosa just goes about her day while Alicia finds out she’s Deaf! She confessed to Amy that they briefly met and that she kind of has a crush on her. Amy tells Rosa and gives her Alicia’s number. 

They start texting and then it cuts to them being outside on a bench, texting, and Alicia learning ASL from Rosa and eventually one thing leads to another and Alicia asks Rosa on a date. Rosa agrees and it’s supposed to cut to several date-like scenarios. 

It takes Gina a long time to put the pieces together and when she decides to stop for the night it’s 11:37 pm and her girlfriend is already laying in bed, passed out. 

Which is understandable, Gina thinks. Rosa had a long day working a shift at the clinic and then studying. 

She puts her laptop aside and gets ready for bed, then lays down beside the head of messy curls and pulls the blanket over them, then pulls her girlfriend tight, kisses her knuckles and falls asleep immediately. 

She wakes up for the first time around 10:30ish, checking her notifications (142 new messages and one email from her advisor telling her that class isn’t going to happen today’) before falling asleep again. 

The next time she wakes up it’s 11:20 am. The first thing coming to her mind is ‘I missed my class’, immediately followed by ‘eh whatever’, distinctly remembering that her class got postponed. 

Gina pats the space next to her, blindly looking for her girlfriend, only to find the bed cold and empty. Her face falls with the realization that Rosa isn’t in her bed which means she has to get up. 

She basically falls out of bed, not really finding the motivation to do anything right now (or the whole day for that matter) and gets on her feet. She shuffled to the bathroom and then the kitchen, discovering Jake at the table. 

“Good morning, sunshine. Thought you were in class?”, he greets her, too chipper for her taste. 

She shakes her head. “Nah. They canceled today. I mean today’s class but they might as well have canceled today.” She sighs while grabbing a mug and filling it with freshly brewed coffee. 

“What happened to you?”, he chuckles, “you’re never _this_ down. You know Rosa just went on a run and is coming back soon? She tried to wake you up but ‘you were out like a light.’ At least that’s what she told me”, he continues his little ramble while raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

“It’s - it’s not because she wasn’t - it’s not because of - SHUT UP, Jake!”

He looks at her knowingly, one eyebrow raised. 

“Ugh, okay. Maybe it was because of that”, she sits down next to him at the table. “We planned on getting our work done early yesterday so we still had time for us but I got so caught up in work that she ended up falling asleep while I reworked the visuals. And then she wasn’t there when I woke up and it _sucks_. What did she turn me into, Jake?”

“Dude…”, he starts but trails off, not really knowing what he can say. 

They end up talking about the title Gina chose and she tells him about the scenes she still has no real use for and they brainstorm ideas for what to do with them. 

“- that’s actually brilliant, J! I really should -“, in that moment the door opens and Rosa steps inside. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun, still not entirely dried from her shower. 

She forgets what she wanted to say, instead, she is staring with her mouth hanging open. 

Her girlfriend is a goddess and she can’t believe that they’re a thing. Of course, Gina thinks, they’re two very hot and powerful people but together they will take over the world. 

Jake pats her on the shoulder. “I’m off to meet Amy. Have a nice day, love you”, he gets up and says goodbye to Rosa as well before disappearing behind a now closed front door. 

Rosa now is standing in front of Gina. 

_Borrowed your keys - I figured you weren’t going to class today_ , she looks sheepishly at Gina. _I brought us breakfast_ , she lifts the bag for emphasis. 

Gina gets up and kisses the Latina, then goes into the kitchen to get them plates. As she returns she realizes that Rosa is already sitting on the couch, remote in hand, searching through Netflix. 

_God, does Gina love her._

She admires Rosa for a few more seconds and then sits down next to her, discovering that she already chose a movie that is playing. 

_The Holiday._

It’s one of Gina’s and Rosa’s favorite films. Together they have seen it countless times. Whenever they can’t agree or don’t know what to watch they turn on this movie. 

They eat their pancakes in silence, Gina’s mind preoccupied with the woman next to her but if anyone were to ask it’s preoccupied with the film she has to hand in in a month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what this is tbh, but I guess next chapter will continue right there? idk we’ll see


	20. all the words in the world wouldn’t be enough to convey how much I truly love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

What Gina doesn’t realize is that Rosa loves her just as much. When Gina holds her in her arms, thinking how to _convey_ it with anything more than gestures, how to address the elephant in the room, Rosa just knows. 

She has seen and she constantly feels how much she is loved. 

And she has fallen in love. 

Rosa doesn’t pay much attention to the film running in the background, her eyes way too tired to read the subtitles, her body way too tired all in all. 

Instead, she closes her eyes and positions her head below Gina’s shoulder. She feels the heaviness of fingertips grazing her shoulder, softly and slowly wandering up and down, sending goosebumps all over her skin. 

She feels something tickling her nose and she knows it’s auburn colored hair and she can smell Gina’s perfume lingering in the air. 

And she feels Gina’s heartbeat underneath her ear. This rapid thumping telling her “every beat is meant for you and only you.” 

She feels lips touching her forehead and lifts her head to meet Gina’s in a kiss. An unspoken “I promise I’ll be there through it all with you.”

It’s these moments Rosa wants to burn into her brain, to remember this feeling forever. 

Their lips part when both of them need oxygen, panting heavily and Rosa stares at her girlfriend’s face, committing every detail to memory. 

She’s aware of all the “I love you’s” around her. 

They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, searching for unspoken answers before Rosa resumes her position, closing her eyes once again. 

Gina’s fingers continue their trail and yet again Rosa can feel Gina’s heart go haywire. 

But so is her own heart, beating with a passion stronger than the one Gina Linetti has for films.

Without much thinking, Rosa’s hand finds its way to a sliver of exposed skin where Gina’s shirt has ridden up. Skin that feels like the most expensive silk. 

She starts tracing arbitrarily shapes while feeling content in Gina’s frame. She knows that this is the person she belongs with. Shapes turn into elongated strokes and indecipherable cursive over time, spelling _I love you_ over and over again. 

She doesn’t pay her scribbles much mind, too focused on getting this thought out of her head, when she feels Gina’s fingertips stop wandering and instead they are lingering in one spot, sending chills down her whole body once again. 

She feels her girlfriend under her shifting and shortly after the hand that’s not resting on Rosa’s arm finds itself under her chin. Fingertips delicately raising her head, forcing her to make eye contact with Gina. 

As soon as Rosa’s eyes adjust to the sunlight streaming in through the window, they find Gina’s face, and she sees a pair of questioning eyes. 

_”You love me?”_ , Gina asks incredulously with big eyes, her face filled with wonderment. 

Rosa tenses for a second. She didn’t really expect Gina to decipher what she wanted to say but yet... here they are.

She nods, not daring to look Gina in the eyes because as sure as she is that she won’t be rejected, she can never be too sure. 

Her mind suddenly goes a thousand miles per second, spiraling from “of course she loves you, she’s your girlfriend” to “Pimento also loved you and in the end it didn’t work out because you were Deaf” and that just reminds her of multiple occasions where her Deafness had been a dealbreaker before. 

The only time it hadn’t been a dealbreaker was with Amy.

 _”It’s okay if you don’t feel the same”_ , she attempts after looking up again, not yet having received a reply from her girlfriend. 

_”I understand if you don’t -“_ , and suddenly there are lips on hers again. Greedy and needy, teeth clashing with teeth and biting on lips and both of them are smiling into the kiss. 

Gina pulls away, making sure she has Rosa’s attention before calling her an _”idiot”_. She shakes her head, a grin spreading on her face, _”Of course I love you too”_ , while exaggerating every one of her gestures. 

Gina captures Rosa’s now slightly bruised lips in a kiss again. This time it’s much softer, more passionate, laced with words she is not capable to express in any language but this one. 

_”I love you”_ , they tell each other a million more times throughout the day.

* * *

They end up staying awake all night, Rosa eventually confessing that she’s afraid Gina will realize that Rosa suddenly is “too much work” and ditch her just like her previous boyfriend and girlfriend. 

And Gina is reaffirming her that this will never be the case because Rosa is perfect and for her, everything that involves Rosa is also perfect. 

Later on, Gina brings up the screening again, telling her how she plans to go to the theater within the next week and book the room, telling her who she plans to invite and Rosa visibly tenses. 

She admits that, though she rekindled her relationship to her father who she’s occasionally texting and meeting for lunch, she hasn’t talked to her mom since the coming out disaster a few months back. 

And Gina admits that she’s seen her girlfriend hurt but didn’t know how to bring it up because whenever she tried, her inquiries got deflected immediately. 

_”Maybe you should text her - meet with her”_ , Gina suggests. 

And as Rosa is contemplating what Gina told her, said person guides her into a laying position, pulling the blanket over them. 

Before Gina falls asleep she gives her girlfriend another kiss, telling her that she loves her once more. 

Around an hour later Rosa is also fast asleep, clutching her phone tightly. The sun is beginning to rise, tinting the sky in various shades of yellow and orange as the screen of her phone lights up to notify her of a new text message. It reads:

**mamacita: yo también te extraño** ( _I miss you too_ ) 


	21. okay this is weird and unexpected and if it wasn’t for you I would flee the scene because Julia Diaz is scary as fuck but I love you so I’ll stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gina is meeting Rosa’s parents!!!!!!!! and it’s awkward and tense!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Gina hasn’t seen her girlfriend since the late afternoon after their talk and she still thinks that it’s all so unbelievably wild. 

A few days ago they were sitting on the sofa in the living room and the next thing she knows is that they were telling each other that they’re in love. 

And now she’s on her way to the theater, where they go on their movie dates. She emailed the owner two weeks ago and they agreed on a meeting where Gina can present her idea and they work out the business side. 

“Hello. I’m Gina Linetti, human form of the 100 emoji”, she smiles politely, “I’m here to meet with the owner?”

The young woman, maybe a Highschool student, nods. “First floor, second door to the right”, she explains as she gets up to lead Gina to the door leading to the first floor. 

She thanks her guide before the door falls shut and she climbs the stairs.

* * *

Rosa is nervous! She checks the time on her phone and discovers that her mother should be at her house any minute now. 

She kind of wishes Gina would be here with her now because they haven’t seen much of each other the last days and she really could use that moral support right now. 

But not only is Rosa swamped with the work in the clinic at the moment, but also with exams. Plus the thought of her mother visiting her today is preoccupying the forefront of her mind. And she’s constantly telling herself that it’s something she has to get through on her own. 

After all, she’s 21, not 12!

Suddenly the whole apartment lights up and Rosa tenses. It’s her mom and she is _not_ ready to do this. 

Nonetheless, she gets up to open the door, finding both her parents behind it. 

She hugs her father while her mother already makes her way to the kitchen. Oscar looks apologetically at his daughter. 

_”She will come around”_ , he tells her, entering his daughter’s flat as well. 

They both follow her mother, who, as they discover, already made herself a cup of coffee and sat down. 

They sit like this for a while and the air feels tense and awkward. Both her parents look at her, waiting for her to make the first step and it takes all her courage to get up. 

She looks her mother in the eyes and mouths _follow me_ before walking away from the table and to the outside. She doesn’t look behind her to check if her mother is following her, trusting her that she will. 

Rosa sits down on the bench, where she really got to know Gina for the first time and looks up to find her mother still standing, awkwardly and lost. 

She’s never seen her mom this lost, so she pats the space on the right, next to her, inviting her to sit down. 

Yet again, they sit like this, observing the trees that finally turn green again and the birds in their nests. Rosa imagines that the wind is telling both her and her mom that everything will be okay. 

She’s brought back into reality by a hand that found its way onto her arm and she knows it’s her mother’s. Something she seldom does. 

_”I missed you”_ , Julia tells her and Rosa’s eyes start to well up. 

_”I missed you as well”_ , Rosa admits and they hug briefly. 

Usually, Rosa tries to hide her emotions, especially from her parents but recently life had been more ups than downs and when she met Gina, she learned that showing emotions doesn’t automatically have to mean weakness. 

_”How have you been?”_ , her mother asks her. And Rosa doesn’t know how to answer. 

_“Good - how are you?”_ , both of them avoiding the subject that had torn them apart in the first place. 

_”Good-“_ , she smiles. _”Look -_ mija _\- I love you and your father and I talked a lot about you -“_ , Rosa nods for her to continue _”he made me see what I did not.”_

Rosa is confused. She thinks she knows what her mom means but she isn’t sure that she means what she _thinks_ she means (if you get what she means). 

So she cocks her head to the side and raises her eyebrows in question. Rosa sees her mom take a deep breath before she continues. 

_”I love you because you are my daughter - you are wonderful and it took me a long time but in the end all that counts is your happiness - no matter if you love a man or a woman -“_.

Suddenly Julia is crushed in a hug by her daughter. Instinctively she wraps her arms around her daughter’s tiny frame. It’s something neither of them has experienced in a long time. 

In the distance, Oscar Diaz is standing by the kitchen window and observes his wife and youngest daughter rekindle their relationship.

* * *

“Thank you for coming. I will send you an email with the agreed upon details, Ms. Linetti”, the theater owner ends the meeting and guides Gina to the office door. 

“Thank you so much, Ma’am”, they both smile and then Gina leaves the office and goes the way she came from and leaves the theater. 

Though it nears April it’s still fresh outside and Gina wraps her arms around herself. After walking some steps she texts Rosa. 

**G: you still up 4 our plans? im omw rn**

**G: I love u!!!!!**

They’re in love! And she still can’t believe it. 

Instead of walking she decides to take the subway. It’s just a few stations but it’s better than freezing. And it’s faster. 

She finds herself at Rosa’s doorstep sooner than she anticipated and checks her phone for what must be the hundredth time but she still didn’t receive an answer from her girlfriend.

She rings the doorbell and is let in quickly. Even across the hallway, she can smell the intense and overwhelming scent of home cooked food. It catches her off guard because it never smells like homemade food in this building. 

She walks down the hallway to Rosa’s front door but instead of finding Rosa waiting for her, it’s a middle-aged man that resembles her girlfriend a lot. He has long black hair tied into a ponytail and a mustache. If he didn’t look so angry Gina might even say he looks like a chill dude. 

“Hello”, Gina says, looking more than confused and trying to get a peek over his shoulder. “I’m here for Rosa but I didn’t know she has visitors. I’m Gina. Rosa’s... friend.”

Oscar’s face changes from grim and scowling to something that could be a smile if you squint really hard.

“Her _friend_ , huh?” Gina grimaces but nods in confirmation. “She’s in the kitchen. Would you like to come in? I’m Oscar. Rosa’s father.”

He reaches out his hand and Gina shakes it. His handshake is firm and his hands are surprisingly soft for a man that looks so rough. 

As she enters Rosa’s and Amy’s apartment another wave of scent hits her in the face. It’s the smell that filled the whole hallway. 

Gina turns to enter the kitchen and finally, her girlfriend comes into view. She’s standing beside a middle-aged woman and they’re cooking. 

They work efficiently and like a well-oiled machine and Gina can’t help herself but take a short video of them. She’s aware that Oscar is standing right next to her but she’s sure he’s smiling at the scene unfolding in front of him as well. 

“Who was it?”, the middle-aged woman asks while turning around and discovers that there are two persons standing in front of her instead of one. 

“Oh. Gina was it, right?”, Gina grimaces again and nods. This feels too awkward and not at all how she wanted to officially meet Rosa’s parents. “You made quite an impression on New Year's Eve.”

In her peripheral vision, Gina can see Rosa getting nervous so she excuses herself from Julia’s hard stare to walk over to her girlfriend. 

She hugs Rosa and looks at her as if they’re communicating telepathically. Rosa takes a deep breath and nods and Gina knows what it means. 

Gina turns around and looks at Rosa once more, trying to ask _are you really sure about this?_. Rosa nods again and looks at her parents, both of them clearly observing the young women argue without words. 

_”Mom - Dad - this is Gina - my girlfriend”_ , she brings herself to sign and then grabs Gina’s hand for emphasis. 

Her parents don’t react at first but then her father cracks a huge smile. _”Friend - huh?”_ , he signs while asking Gina verbally who in return just scratches her neck with her free hand. 

Rosa’s mom is visibly tense and gives a curt nod. She redirects her full attention to the food, that’s still cooking on the stove, again. 

Without turning around once again she asks “Will you be staying for dinner?”, and Gina hesitates. She asks her girlfriend if it’s okay if she’d stay for dinner and Rosa nods. 

“Yes. If that is okay with you, Mrs. Diaz”, she replies. 

“Julia”, Rosa’s mother answers. “Very well then.” 

Rosa takes a step towards her mother and lets her know that they’ll go into the living room. She then takes Gina’s hand and leads her to the couch, sitting down and pulling Gina down with her. 

Rosa leans her head back and groans loudly, the back of her hand hitting her forehead. 

_”That went better than expected”_ , Gina states.

Rosa agrees. _”My dad loves you - my mom is harder to read”_. 

Gina takes Rosa into her arms and pulls her close, the Latina now leaning into Gina’s body. Without looking Rosa in the eyes she signs 

_”I love you so much”_ , and kisses her on the head. Rosa lifts her head and their lips collide for the first time in days. 

When their lips part Rosa tells Gina

_”I love you even more.”_

They don’t notice Rosa’s parents in the doorframe. Oscar with a phone in hand, recording the fleeting and intimate moment and Julia seeing her daughter as happy as never before. 

At this moment she truly makes peace with her daughter being bisexual. And she’s proud of the child she raised. 

Oscar knocks on the doorframe and Gina tenses significantly. He announces that dinner is ready and leaves into the kitchen again. 

After they sit down and their plates are filled with food Gina feels the awkwardness in the room once again. 

She is sitting beside Rosa’s father with Rosa opposite from her and Rosa’s mother next to her youngest daughter. 

“So...”, Oscar starts, “are you studying? What are you doing with your life, Gina?”, he asks, not really knowing what to ask but wanting to get to know his daughter’s girlfriend. 

She catches that he didn’t translate his question into ASL which hurts Gina. And she’s surprised by it. But instead of calling him out she starts to answer him while using sign language, so the younger woman doesn’t feel excluded. 

_”I am in Grad School right now. I am studying film which is my passion and I’m very grateful I get to do that”_ , she answers him. 

“What do you mean, film? It sounds very vague”, Julia, now interested, chimes in. Gina translates her question and then answers. 

_”Well, in college I got to focus on every aspect of filmmaking like directing and screenwriting but also acting and producing. Now I focus mainly on the writing and directing part.”_

_”Actually - she is finishing one right now and I’m acting in it”_ , Rosa chimes in when she’s sure she has the attention of everyone at the table. _”G is planning a screening of it and you’re invited to come.”_

Gina smiles at her. _”Yes. It’s in six weeks. If you want I can send you an invitation per email.”_

Oscar directs his attention back to his daughter. _”Of course we will come - I would not miss it for the world!”_

After that they discuss Gina’s previous works and experience in college, even grazing the subject of her coming out. 

After they finish dinner Gina gives her thanks to Mrs. Diaz, telling her how amazing her cooking is and cleans the dishes while Rosa converses with her parents. 

She puts the leftovers into the fridge for Amy and Jake, if they come here, too (she plans to eat it otherwise) and when she exits the kitchen to announce that everything is cleaned up she finds Rosa’s parents putting on their shoes. 

She walks closer and grabs Rosa’s hand, waiting for her parents to bid their goodbyes. 

She doesn’t expect Oscar to hug her, yet he does. He then holds her shoulders at an arm's length and looks very serious at her. 

“Don’t hurt my daughter or I will hurt you. I have 14 weapons on me currently and I am not afraid to use them.” It sounds like a threat but Gina is more afraid of Julia who is glaring at her from behind her husband's shoulder. 

“Of course, Sir”, she chokes out and he pats her on the left shoulder. 

“Wise decision.”

He moves to his daughter and Rosa’s mother comes into view. She eyes Gina up and down, still glaring at her before giving her a short hug. 

“Amy has seven brothers and -“, she whispers but Gina cuts her off. 

“With all due respect, Mrs. Diaz, Amy already threatened me with her brothers: ‘five of them work at the NYPD so they know how to make a body disappear’”, she quotes what Amy told her. 

To her surprise, Julia laughs out loud. “I have many brothers as well. So be careful and treat her right.”

“I will, Mrs. Diaz. I love her so much, I will never hurt her.” Julia acknowledges this with another nod. 

“Good.”

She, too, says her goodbyes to her daughter before the front door falls into its lock and Rosa’s parents stand on the other side. 

“I like her”, she hears Julia say and Gina’s face spreads into a huge smile.

She turns and kisses her girlfriend, grabbing her butt and hoisting her up. She carries her into Rosa’s bedroom, deciding to spend the rest of the evening Rosa’s bed, gloating in the bliss of Rosa’s parents approval.


	22. my heart will be your magical kingdom forever (or I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you’re as lost about the story as I am clap your hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Gina feels… content. For the first time in weeks, she feels like she can be relaxed and enjoy the springtime in its fullest potential. And she feels happy, laying in a secluded park, where no one is around but her and her girlfriend. 

Rosa, who is laying in her arms, both of them staring up at the light blue sky with no clouds around. Just like Gina’s mind. 

They’ve been here for at least two hours, if not more, time feels relative when the pressure of the end of semester and exam season is long gone, left behind them in exchange for the temporary peace of mind.

It’s been a hectic few weeks between their workloads and actual work and classes. Gina had been preoccupied with getting her film done for days and nights in a row, not sleeping, not eating, not taking care of herself, neglecting everything that wasn’t Grad School. 

She remembers how Rosa came over to check on her after not receiving any kind of reply from her girlfriend for more than four hours, which was more than uncharacteristic for Gina. Worrisome even. 

She found her holed up in her bedroom, heavy bags under her eyes, pale skin, a body that’s clearly been forced to stay awake for way longer than it should have. 

And when Rosa went to get a glimpse of the work, Gina snapped the laptop shut, looking wary and protective. Shaking her head. Looking like a maniac. 

_”I just needed to see you’re okay”_ , Rosa told Gina and all she got in return was _”I am”_ , before she asked Rosa to leave because she needed to finish up. 

Gina saw the hurt, the anger but most of all the feeling of betrayal in Rosa’s eyes. She didn’t mean for it to come off _this_ harsh but there was no time to apologize. The deadline was in 13 hours. She needed to finish. 

That may also be part of the reason they’re in the park. As a form of apology to Rosa, an “I didn’t mean to be so rude, I’m sorry”, an 

_”I love you”_ , she lets Rosa know. Because she does love her. So much. 

Her heart is bursting with happiness. 

Gina sits up and Rosa’s head finds its way into her lap almost immediately. _”I love you too”_ , is the reply she gets along with a soft smile. 

As if Gina’s hands have a mind of their own they’re tangling in Rosa’s black locks, pushing some stray hairs out of her face and twirling one strand of hair around her finger. 

The film student leans down and gives her girlfriend a kiss and she would’ve lost her balance wouldn’t it have been for Rosa’s arms holding her in her place and her right hand steadying herself. 

When Gina comes up again she can’t help but grin. 

The sun is shining directly onto Rosa, drowning her in golden light. Her hair looks almost like honey, her skin glowing like her veins are pulsating with ambrosia and her eyes like the deepest musgravite and Gina isn’t too sure the medical student is just human. 

Gina is ready to drink her in, already all consumed by Rosa. 

There is something so ethereal about the young woman laying on her lap, something so closely resembling the divine that she feels so overcome with emotion she could cry. 

She worships the Latina with more she thought she was ever capable of. She knows that this is the closest she’ll come to touching religion. And in this moment she suddenly knows that she’d give everything to spend an eternity with her.

Gina must have been lost in thought again because when she comes to, Rosa is sitting in between her legs, her body leaned into Gina’s and her sketchbook in her lap. Her hair falls around her, veiling her face, yet Gina’s hand is still tangled into stray locks right at the nape of her neck. 

She puts her chin on Rosa’s shoulder, trying to get a peek of what her girlfriend is working on but she’s not able to. And she understands how Rosa must’ve felt. 

Gina gathers the lush black hair and sweeps it to the right side of Rosa’s neck, half of it now exposed. She takes in the faint smell of vanilla, lavender, and coffee feels the Latina stop in her tracks and kisses the exposed skin. 

Rosa’s skin is as soft as that of peaches and Gina does everything in her power not to bruise it. Her mouth trails up to Rosa’s ear, it’s flushed and radiating heat but so is the rest of the younger woman’s skin. 

They end up making out after Rosa drops her drawing utensils and turns to meet the auburn-haired woman in a kiss.

When they break apart both of them smile dazedly, staring into each other’s eyes like hypnotized before diving into the next kiss. 

Hours later in bed, Gina decides to surprise the woman soundly sleeping in her arms, getting to organizing everything immediately, so they can leave tomorrow.

* * *

_”You don’t own a car”_ , is the first thing Rosa states after Gina exits said car and tells Rosa to get in. She’s still standing in the exact spot in front of Gina’s apartment, arms now crossed in front of her chest. 

_”Get in loser - it’s a surprise!”_ Gina is exasperated. _”It’s Kevin’s car - now get in please?”_

Reluctantly Rosa moves towards the car before stopping promptly mid-step. There are still some meters left between her and the car door as she asks: _”Do you -“_

_”I know how to drive babe”_ , Gina smiles, holding out her license. Rosa didn’t expect that. She inspects the license given to her, then sighs before getting into the car and closing the door loudly. 

About 15 minutes into the drive Rosa starts asking questions but Gina can’t really concentrate on what her girlfriend wants to convey _and_ driving. 

So at a red light, she turns her head towards Rosa who already asking away. _”Where are we going - for how long?”_

Gina rolls her eyes but smiles. _”It’s a surprise and I don’t know yet”_

Rosa nods. _”It’s green”_ , and leans her head against the window. Gina starts driving and puts a hand on Rosa’s thigh. _”You’ll love it!”_

It’s 11 pm when Rosa is finally asleep. They made a few stops to get some food or for toilet breaks and according to Gina’s phone, they’re almost at the Florida State Line. 

She exhales loudly and pulls her car to the side of the street to check where the next service area is. 

Another ten minutes later she’s pulling into a parking lot. She kills the engine and feels how exhausted she truly is. Gina sets an alarm for 2 am, locks the doors of the car and quickly falls asleep as well. 

When the alarm rings she scrambles to turn it off before Rosa wakes up. She yawns and goes into the adjacent bakery, halfheartedly choosing some baked goods and filling her thermos with coffee before she pays and makes her way back to their car. 

She tries to open the car silently and remembers that Rosa can’t hear. Still, she tries closing the car door just as carefully. 

Gina puts the baked goods in the gloves department and takes a big gulp of the coffee, then starts the engine to continue their journey. 

Now that she has time to think she kind of regrets her impulse decision to drive to Rosa’s surprise. They could have easily taken a plane. But that’s not the only reason, the other main concern are the -

She feels a hand on her thigh and Rosa’s eyes on her and she blushes. 

She points to the department where she put the food. _”Breakfast”_ , she elaborates without taking her eyes off the street. 

Gina glances at the clock and realizes it’s half past six, exhaling deeply. At most, there is an hour left until they finally reach their destination. 

Both of them are very content in that moment. Gina thinks that this is the kind of road trip she took with Jake after they graduated high school. The kind of road trip she loves to remember. 

Gina glances at the clock and she pulls to the side of the street and turns off the engine, then tells Rosa to get out of the car. She climbs on the hood of it and helps her girlfriend up as well. And as they’re sitting there, the sun rises and drowns the sky and the coast in golden hues. 

Gina gets out her phone in secret and takes pictures of Rosa staring at the sunrise, mesmerized by the colors and the sea. 

She then kisses her on the cheek, taking a picture of them as well. 

After watching the sunrise, Gina gets down from the hood of the car and lifts Rosa down as well. 

_”I love you”_ , Rosa tells her when they get back into the car and as they continue driving down the road their hands are joined in Gina’s lap. 

Finally, the first signs announcing **DISNEYLAND** appear, indicating that they’re almost there. Gina feels her shoulders relax, not having been aware of how tense they were. 

Rosa grabs her arm tightly and as soon as they hit a red light, Gina turns her head towards her ecstatic girlfriend. 

_”D-I-S-N-E-Y-L-A-N-D? At one point I thought you didn’t have a destination in mind - G!”_ And Gina’s heart feels so full, seeing Rosa so excited. It even takes her mind off the rides for now. 

_”Thought it would be a nice weekend getaway”_ , she admits bashfully, blushing. She hears loud honking from behind her and remembers they’re at a stoplight. 

Gina laughs loudly and lets Rosa know what’s going on and then they both can’t stop laughing while Gina starts driving. 

It doesn’t take much longer and they’re finally in the Disneyland parking lot. Gina kills the engine and exhales, then falls back into her seat and closes her eyes. 

_”Tired”_ , she states without opening her eyes. She inhales deeply and then claps her hands together. She opens her eyes and gets out of the car, motioning for Rosa to do the same. 

She locks the car behind them and grabs Rosa’s hand and they’re making their way to the gates. 

The first thing Gina does when they enter their hotel room is hugging her girlfriend from behind and fall into the bed, promptly falling asleep. 

She wakes up from featherlight kisses peppered on her face and a hand going through her hair and she smiles but keeps her eyes closed. 

But then the kisses stop and Gina frowns and opens her eyes to find Rosa looking at her expectantly. 

_”2 pm - let’s go please?”_

Gina nods and after she takes a shower they’re on their way outside. She can’t focus on anything but Rosa holding her hand and pulling her towards the scariest ride. 

Though every ride is the scariest ride in Gina’s eyes. She stops in her tracks immediately when she realizes that Rosa pulls them into the queue. 

Rosa turns to look at her and tries to analyze her expressions. As it dawns on her, a smile creeps onto her face. 

_”You afraid?”_ She raises her eyebrows Gina blushes and nods eventually. No point in lying. 

_”I’ll protect you babe”_ , she assures Gina and gives her a kiss, then pulls her into the line of impatiently waiting people. 

As it turns out she was absolutely right to be afraid of the rides. They’re still not her thing and she’s sure they won’t ever be but she went and will go on every single one of them for the love of her life. 

It’s around 9 pm and they had dinner, courtesy of Gina as well and are in bed now. The film student won’t admit it but she’s so tired. She closes her eyes but then her phone rings. 

It’s Jake. 

She hadn’t expected him to call but then she remembers that she didn’t really tell him that she’ll be gone for the week. 

“Gines, where the _fuck_ are you and Rosa?”

“Well, hello to you, too, Pineapples”, she rolls her eyes at him. 

“Pineapples?”, she hears someone asking in the background. 

“Anyway”, Jake deflects, “where are you?”

“Disneyl-“

“You’re at DISNEY and you didn’t invite ME?”

“Dude”, she sighs, “it’s supposed to be a romantic getaway for the weekend.”

She hears Jake laugh. “Amy says that for someone who pretends to not care most of the time, you care an awfully lot and I kind of agree, G. Also I thought you were afraid of rollercoasters since the incident on our summer vacation as kids?”

Gina groans loudly and it’s then she realizes that Rosa is staring at her, trying to figure out their conversation. 

“I don’t want to talk about that, please?”

Jake agrees. “When will you be back?”

Gina shrugs before she remembers that he can’t see her. “I don’t really know yet. Probably Monday. Listen, I gotta go but - and I can’t believe I’m saying this - thanks for caring. I love you, bud!” 

“Have fun! But not too much fun -“ She hangs up on him not really in the mood for his sex jokes. 

Rosa looks at her questioningly. _”Jake wanted to know if we’re still alive and where we are.”_

Rosa nods understandingly. _”I keep Amy up to date so he probably just called to tease you about -”_

Gina shuts her up with a kiss, then pulls her girlfriend close to her, turning on a documentary they think i is interesting enough to keep them awake for another 60 minutes or so. 

_”You know”_ , Rosa tells her about halfway through, _”I think I’ve never seen so many films before I met you.”_

As an answer, she gets a kiss and a question. 

_”Is that bad?”_ and Rosa shakes her head no. 

_”It’s perfect.”_

It’s late when they finally fall asleep, tightly intertwined and the last thought Gina has before passing out is _this for eternity would be perfect_.


	23. can you believe that I finished something for once? I don’t really have a title so that’ll do I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

Gina wakes up around 5 am with a nervousness, crawling up through her stomach and up her throat, that she hasn’t felt in a long time. 

Today is the day of her screening and though she can’t wait to show everyone, including the woman sleeping soundly beside her, what she has been working the last year of school, she also can’t wait for it to be over. 

She tries to fall asleep again but isn’t able to, so she starts listening to music on her phone and writing out ideas for her Grad Thesis slash film she will have to work on for the next year. 

Just yesterday she met with her advisor to go over the grading of her short film and found out that she got 100% on her assignment. A well deserved A+ for all the stress she had to get through. 

Knowing that even her college professor is fully convinced of her art gives her peace of mind before she remembers that all the people important to her are going to see the movie today. 

Gina wakes up again around 11:30 am. She can’t remember when she fell asleep again. The spot next to her is vacant and is an indicator of her probably having to get up as well. 

The screening is supposed to start at 3 pm. 

Right as she’s convinced herself to actually do that Rosa re-enters the room and crawls back under the covers. 

_”One more your”_ , Rosa states rather than asks and is asleep again. 

Gina gets up around 12 pm to make herself some coffee and chill in front of the TV. 

By 2:30 pm both Rosa and her are ready to go. It took little convincing on Gina’s side for Rosa to get up and going. Unsurprisingly. 

When they arrive at the movie theater there’s already a small crowd waiting. It’s Jake and Amy and their parents, and Charles. Even Alicia, Raymond and Kevin made it. As did her advisor. 

The only thing slightly worrying her is seeing her mother talking to Rosa’s parents. It’s a red flag for Gina but nothing she can prevent anymore. She planned on introducing them after the movie but alas, here they are  
.  
Gina shakes her head and smiles brightly. 

Everyone is there. 

She greets them and then talks to the young woman on the counter about the arrangements before being let in. 

She leads the crowd into one of the theater rooms and tells them to sit wherever they prefer and then leaves to deal with the technicians to get the movie rolling. 

When she returns she makes her way to the stage to say a few introductory words. 

“As you all know, this is a film I have been working on for quite some time and I’m so happy with how it turned out. It made me not only discover and explore subjects that were foreign to me but also made me meet the love of my life”, she points to Rosa before continuing to sign and speak: “She’s one of the main actresses in my project. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!”

Her friends and family clap as she joins Rosa. Then the theater gets dark and it begins playing. And all the anticipation dissipates immediately when the first scene shows up on the big screen. 

_Rosa’s character is standing in front of a mirror and getting ready. She decides how to do her hair, pulls it up into a ponytail before letting it go again. It looks below her shoulders. Then she leaves the apartment and walks down the road. The title appears over the unfolding scene. In bold white letters it reads **you got some sh*t to say (i’m here to listen).**_

Gina knows exactly how this movie plays out, down to the second so she diverts the attention to Rosa, who seems to be captivated by the movie. 

It’s only 12 minutes but they’re the longest 12 minutes Gina ever encountered. She’s so engrossed in Rosa’s reaction that the only thing snapping her out of her trance is the sudden applause. 

As she diverts her attention to the front she discovers the credits are rolling, along with outtakes she didn’t have much use for. 

She doesn’t remember much of what happens after that. 

They’re back home currently, with everyone who attended also there and for the past hour they are congratulating her and Rosa and Alicia. 

She thanked Alicia a lot. It’s uncharacteristic for her but Alicia did help her out after all. 

Suddenly, Oscar and Julia are standing in front of her. 

“Rosa is in the kitchen”, she smiles, assuming they’re looking for their daughter. 

“Actually, we wanted to talk to you. Did you really produce this by yourself?”, Oscar asks. 

Gina laughs. “I wish but no. There were like 15 people involved in the end.”

“Well”, Oscar says after consideration, “it was quite the experience. Very good though. A lot of artistry.”

Gina smiles. “Thank you so much! It means a lot”, she catches how he nudged his wife in the side. 

“Yeah”, Julia adds, “it was alright”, but Gina sees the hint of a smile on her face and knows that it was more than just that. And if she wasn’t proud before she surely is now. 

“Actually, I have something for you”, both Oscar and Gina exclaim at the same time. 

“You first”, they both offer simultaneously. 

Gina hands them a copy of the film and after that, Oscar shows her the video he’d taken of Gina and Rosa a while back. 

“I wanted to send it to you, Jake and Amy told me you’re working on something and you’re still scouting for material.”

She doesn’t know what comes over her but she finds herself hugging Rosa’s father and even her mother, whispering a “thank you”, then gives him her phone number and excuses herself to find Jake. 

She can’t find him though so she texts him a short 

**Gines: dude thank u!!!! u r a hero, I owe u 1!!!!! <3 **

**Jakester: no thang! ily sis**

**Jakester: ur film was da bomb btw**

She reads his replies and smiles. After about 30 minutes the people are slowly filtering out and eventually all that are left are Gina and Rosa. 

They clean up the living room and then Rosa cooks them dinner. They eat it in front of the TV, focused on the documentary with knees barely touching. 

When Jake returns home he finds some leftover food in the fridge and Rosa sitting on Gina’s lap, both of them passed out in front of the TV, like usual.


	24. E P I L O G U E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference **this is most likely written conversation** and _“this is most likely signed conversation” or emphasis or thoughts_ , ofc look for the context!! and I hope you enjoy

**August 21st 2019**

_”Happy half year anniversary babe”_ are the words Gina is welcomed with at Rosa’s doorstep. She grins.

 _”Happy anniversary - I love you”_ , she replies then steps into the apartment. She hugs her girlfriend and gives her a short kiss while kicking off her shoes and then vanishes into Rosa’s bedroom.

When Rosa enters, Gina already unpacked her laptop.

It’s their thing, she thinks. Watching movies together and sometimes analyzing them. And she absolutely loves it and wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Ever.

 _”So”_ , Gina starts when she’s sure she has Rosa’s undivided attention, _”I know we said no presents -“_

 _” - but you got me one? Because same T-B-H”_ , Rosa interrupts before running her hand through her hair.

Gina nods but smiles because _of course_ they both didn’t stick to their own policies.

As Rosa comes closer and starts rummaging through the drawer beside her bed, Gina chokes on air. _Please_ , she thinks, _don’t do what I planned on doing!_

The case she fishes out from her drawer ends up being way bigger than Gina anticipated and she exhales with relief.

Rosa hands it to her and Gina discovers a delicate golden necklace with a heart pendant inside of it. She almost starts crying (okay, she may have shed a tear or twenty but don’t you dare tell anyone!) and pulls Rosa in for a deep kiss.

 _”It’s gorgeous!”_ , she exclaims and lets her girlfriend put it on her.

She then pats the space next to her, an invitation for Rosa to sit down and get comfortable.

There are several things Rosa expects, ranging from cringy horror movies they can laugh at to serious documentaries about current global issues.

What she doesn’t expect is this:

 _The film opens with a picture of them kissing._ She remembers their road trip, how Gina and her watched the sun rise on the coast somewhere in Florida and their kiss.

_A short video of Rosa staring out into another sunrise from their way back to NYC and then turning to the camera and smiling. She’s sticking out her tongue at the camera._

_Then a picture of Rosa and Gina on the bench in their backyard, the younger in the older woman’s embrace and they’re just smiling. It seems they only have eyes for each other, the rest of the world not mattering anymore._

_It’s followed by a picture from NYE, them sharing a kiss, the fireworks in the background lighting up their surroundings. Gina’s face glowing blue from the exploding lights._

_Gina dancing in the kitchen while cooking. She has her back turned to the camera and she’s using her full body to dance, occasionally using the spatula as a microphone._

_Them dancing together, with Gina’s hands on Rosa’s waist and Rosa’s hands around Gina’s neck and they are slowly spinning in circles. Yet again it seems like it’s only them. Gina advances slowly, ready to kiss this beautiful woman in her arms -_

_The camera is put to the side and Gina enters the frame. She’s standing behind the slightly taller woman and puts her head on her right shoulder, observing both of them in the reflection.She puts her right arm around Rosa’s midriff and Rosa is flushed, not really knowing how to handle all of this while Gina tucks a stray strand of dark hair back behind Rosa’s ear with her free hand. Through the mirror, Rosa sees that Gina’s trying to say to go shower. She nods shyly. Gina kisses her on the cheek -_

”That went better than expected”, _Gina states. Rosa agrees._ ”My dad loves you - my mom is harder to read”. _Gina takes Rosa into her arms and pulls her close, the Latina now leaning into Gina’s body. Without looking Rosa in the eyes she signs_ ”I love you so much”, _and kisses her on the head. Rosa lifts her head and their lips collide. When they part Rosa tells Gina_ ”I love you even more.”

Then the screen fades out and Rosa carefully wipes the tears from her cheeks. It’s so thoughtful, she thinks, and all she got Gina is a stupid necklace.

She turns to kiss her girlfriend but finds green-blueish eyes looking at her expectantly.

She thinks she knows what Gina wants to know and is about to give her the answer to an unspoken question when

_”Will you move in with me?”_

It catches her by surprise and she stares at Gina for what feels like an eternity but must have been two seconds.

 _”Of course!”_ , she exclaims before getting to actually kiss her girlfriend this time.

_”But one thing I don’t understand - where did you get all this footage from?”_

* * *

**May 2020**

Gina wakes up and she stretches and yawns. She feels her spine crack and rolls to her left and swings her right arm over her girlfriend’s body. She pulls her closer and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Rosa stirs in her arms and opens her eyes slightly.

 _”I love you”_ , Gina greets her, _”you have to get up.”_

Rosa shakes her head and buries it in her girlfriend’s body.

Gina grins but softly pushes Rosa’s head away from her. _”Get up - babe - you graduate today!”_

Rosa shakes her head again. She groans for emphasis.

_”No.”_

Gina gives her a kiss and then gets up. She lifts Rosa out of their bed as well and carries her into the bathroom. She sets her down on the counter.

 _”Get ready”_ , she commands her and leaves the bathroom without Rosa.

She goes into their kitchen and prepares breakfast for them. When she’s finished baking the pancakes, Rosa enters the kitchen. She is fully dressed and wears the dark lipstick she knows Gina can’t withstand.

Rosa hoists herself on the counter opposite the stove where Gina is adding the finishing touches to her breakfast.

Gina can’t believe that her girlfriend is also graduating now. Just two weeks ago Jake and her had been the ones finishing Grad school and now Rosa is doing the same. 

Admittedly she doesn’t have a plan of where to go now with her life but she knows at least one thing. 

After turning the stove off she carries the plate of pancakes over to her girlfriend. 

_”I thought about what you said last night and i think we should do it”_ , Rosa announces out of the blue. 

Gina's whole body stops mid-bite. _”Are you sure?”_ , she asks, _”yesterday you didn’t seem too keen on the idea and that’s okay for me too - I’ll find a job here and -“_

Rosa laughs. _”Gina, let’s move to L-A!”_

Her brain needs a few seconds to register it but then she swipes Rosa off the counter and spins her around. After setting her down again, they kiss. 

_”I love you”_ , they exclaim in the same moment. Both of them laughing again. 

The graduation ceremony is short, just a formality in the grand scheme of things. And everyone is there. Rosa’s parents and Jake and Jake’s and Gina’s mothers and the Santiagos. Amy, her parents and all seven of her brothers. Charles and The Captain, Kevin. Even Terry. 

After that they go to a Cuban restaurant to celebrate properly, everyone taking their time to congratulate Rosa on her success. 

Later that night they find themselves in their shared apartment, with only Jake and Amy still sticking around. They sit around the kitchen table and talk. 

Suddenly, Gina gets up and announces she has a graduation gift for Rosa she forgot about in the spur of the moment and Jake and Amy exchange looks. 

Then Amy gets Rosa’s attention and she turns for a second, distracting her from seeing Gina enter the room again, not catching how Jake secretly started filming the scenario that’s about to change their lives. 

Then Amy points back into Gina’s direction. 

Gina, who is on one knee in front of the love of her life, holding out a ring. 

_”Will you make me the happiest woman alive and marry me?”_ , she signs and Rosa bursts into tears, nodding vehemently. 

_”A million times yes! I love you Gina Linetti!”_

Gina barely gets out an _”And I love you Rosa Diaz”_ , before her fiancée crashes into her and kisses her deeply. 

This is only the beginning of their happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe I finished it omfg! I hope you enjoy it and uuuhhhh yeah!!! Leave kudos or comments or suggestions for lost scenes that I might turn into one shots!!!!! Thx for reading!!!!!!!!💛💛💛

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it (which I hope you did so far) leave kudos or a comment! I love you all so very much and have a good day/night💛
> 
> * * *
> 
> for reference and if you want to learn some basic ASL: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uPKOwziViaw  
> I’m heavily relying on those videos as well because I only have a broad understanding of GSL and SL’s aren’t the same!  
> Also the grammar is way different from spoken language but I adjusted it!


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